Day 176

There are questions that only he can answer. When did the darkness get too deep to live through? What happened? At what point did he decide he ‘can’t take this any more”? How could he not know how much he was loved? Was the love around him not enough?

We hosted three of his close friends for dinner today. They spoke of him very fondly. They shared stories of his peculiar brand of humour, his openness and his special way of looking after his friends. We ate and drank. We hugged and cried. One said,”I can’t believe he is not going to walk through that door any minute.” They took some of his books and clothes – things that meant something to them. It warmed my heart to see such beautiful friendships. I have known these kids for a few years but only superficially. Today I saw them as young adults, struggling with their loss and finding solace in being in his space and making something that was physically a part of his life their own.

If I ask “Was there enough love?” The answer is clear.

There was enough love and he knew it.

There is enough love and he knows it.

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