Day 181

It’s Thursday.
It’s the 16th.
It’s exactly 6 months today.

Months are human constructs, supposedly designed to make life easier.
Just like weeks and years.
Just like warm, sunny weather is supposedly ‘good’ and blustery rain is ‘horrid’. Just like being young is ‘desirable’ and being old is ‘ghastly’.
Just like being in a relationship is ‘wonderful’ and not being in one ‘terrible’.
Just like birth is a ‘happy’ event and death is ‘sad’.
All generalizations.

In truth this is just what it is – twilight, chilly, empty, bitter, end of a chapter and beginning of another.

It is fascinating to experience an experience so deeply. So deeply that nothing else matters. I am completely lost in it. Neither the past nor the future makes any sense. It is of no consequence if this or that gets done or not. It completely consumes me. It is the greatest source of joy and of despair. It is the brightest and the darkest part of my days. It is never nothing. It is beautiful. The pain is another form of love.

It is me and I am it.

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