Day 252

‘Regret’ seems to have been the flavour of the month for the past few months. No matter how much I have tried to run away from it, it has caught up with me in one disguise or another. However painful, pointless and unproductive the sentiment, it has been with me most of the time, right from Day 0.

Sometimes I would get so stuck on one thing that I found it impossible to take it in my stride. For instance, I have this hang-up about the kitchen sink being clean in the morning. When my son was home, I would get really annoyed to find dirty utensils in the sink when I got home from work. I could not understand why he could not leave it as clean as he found it in the morning. Now, in light of knowing how dreadful he must have felt, I feel ashamed to even admit it. I regret not having the compassion to properly understand his condition.

Today I found out the top 5 most frequently expressed regrets of people on their deathbeds.

  1. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  2. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  3. I wish I had let myself be happier.
  4. I wish I had the courage to express my true self.
  5. I wish I’d lived my life true to my dreams, instead of what others expected of me.

It’s wise to learn from other people’s mistakes.

The third point above really stood out for me – letting myself be happier. It is a choice. Allowing it to happen is up to me. Often we hold other people responsible for how we feel. But ultimately, the responsibility is ours, no one else’s.

2 thoughts on “Day 252

  1. I have no spatial sense, I stack dishes etc in a hopeless fashion after washing them – it was one of many things about me that drove her nuts. I remember things like that with great affection, now that she is dead. Mothers nag, it’s what they do. As well as causing a lot of eye rolling, it reassures us that they care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you. Although my Mum is delightful and I love her dearly, I know that sentiment. I feel like that sometimes. xxx My mind just keeps going back no matter how much I want it to stay where the heart is. In a pool of love.


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