A little boy and a little girl sang with me :
“Twinkle Twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.”
My crazy diamond! Isn’t it strange how everything I hear and see, speak and sing, smell and touch, has relevance to my love for him and the connection between us? My life is a string of memories of him and blessings to him. The kids now know as do I, that whenever they look up at the night sky, the brightest star they see, is he.
The mind shouts at me,” YOU let him down!”
Time after time. Again and again.
Trying not to agree or disagree.
Not add or take away anything from it.
Do my damndest hard to ignore the bark of a mad dog.
Stand back from it.
Just watch it like sound waves coming off drum membranes.
Observe the noise without joining in.
No defence. No attack. No judgement. No advise.
With no desire to fix anything. Or change anything.
Wait for the noise to fade, giving in to compassion ….. for myself.
Not absolving or blaming myself.
With what is.
Knowing this to be an opportunity to extend my love not just to one person but through him to the entire universe – the stars, the sea and the clouds.
That is what this is about.
It is certainly not about me. I just happen to be.
I am incidental. In this place.
I am nothing, yet my nature is vast!
I am just a hollow and empty space.
At this point in time. In the here and now.