One by one, slowly, reluctantly and thoughtfully I have been finding loving homes and destinations for Saagar’s belongings. 15 months later, the process is still ongoing.

Our friends who live in Zambia took some of his t-shirts and shorts with them to Lusaka to distribute in their community. They sent me pictures of young and old men wearing his clothes and big beaming smiles.

Today I unpacked another bag of his clothes. I found his plain pink pyjama top and navy bottom with multiple hearts, big and small, in white, pink, yellow, lavender, turquoise, red and lime green. One of his friends, who understood his comfortable relationship with his feminine side had presented it to him for his 17^th birthday. He loved those jammys. He wore them a lot. I also found his toweled maroon dressing gown that he lounged around the house in. I used to tell him off when he stayed in it for too long.

I could just picture him, at various places in the house, sitting in front of the TV, cooking a late breakfast on a Saturday morning, playing with his cat, Milkshake, in his room, standing in the back garden smoking. The images just flashed in front of me and left me longing painfully to see him one more time!

WHERE IS HE?
HOW CAN THIS BE?