Day 483

It’s the silence that kills.
And the loneliness.

The victims of suicide often die quietly, making a silent exit, believing that others will be better off without them. At worst, they will hurt for a little while and then get over it. Those devastated by it suffer long and hard. They can’t bear to think of it without falling apart. Speaking of it is often impossible. Anger, shame and guilt support the silence. Silence follows more silence. Nothing changes. We know stigma is a big problem but often can’t share our stories because of it. It grabs us without our knowledge. Thousands are affected every year but there is no public outcry, no uproar! The mere act of uttering the word ‘Suicide’ is a huge assault on the senses for some. The ‘S’ word!

It is not unusual for work colleagues of many years to not know of each other’s bereavement through suicide, only because very few are able to share it for one reason or another. Will people treat me differently? Will they think something is wrong with me? Will they think that person died because there was something wrong with our relationship? The moment one person opens up, others are able to give themselves permission to do the same.

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Everyone’s just had it. We’ve had it. It’s absolutely ridiculous. There have been too many tragedies. Like same-sex marriage it will slowly happen, bit by bit. When instituting change, it’s not sexy and it’s not fast. It’s a matter of changing culture by speaking out and saying,”This is enough.” But it will be a long hard slog.

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