The husband was a loving and nurturing father.
He slowly became distant.
A bit evasive.
Sometimes hidden behind an impenetrable wall.
Gradually becoming quieter.
Keeping to himself.

The wife was convinced that it was all to do with her.
She thought he didn’t like her company any more.
She felt certain that they were growing apart.
But she couldn’t reach him.
He was too enclosed in his dense cocoon.
She believed that to be her fault too.

He went to her sister to borrow money for the second time.
She dug a little deeper.
She found out that he was a gambler.
Gambling was his addiction.
He was ill. It had nothing to do with his wife.
She got him professional help.
She helped her sister understand his illness.
Over the next 6 months he was back – a 100% with his family.

Saagar was very affectionate and funny.
He liked to go out and be with his friends.
Slowly he started to spend more time on his own.
His birthday falls in early May – too close to the exams.
He stopped celebrating it properly.
He slowly started being difficult with me.

I was convinced that it was all to do with me.
I thought he didn’t enjoy my company any more.
I thought he was actively avoiding me.
I felt certain that it was all to do with me.
I tried but I couldn’t reach him.
He was lost in his own world.

We went to A&E to get help for him for the first time.
They dug a little deeper.
They found out that he had Hypomania.
They helped him get better.
But they didn’t help me understand his illness.
They didn’t think about the effect his behavior had on me.
For sometime I continued to protect myself from him.
I didn’t realize he needed me at that time.
It took me some time to get close to him again.
We both suffered unnecessarily.
We both lost precious time we could have spent together.

Families and carers suffer too.
They need help too.