Back in Varanasi for the last of the last rites.
There are 2 reasons why this prayer is being done. First one is to ask for forgiveness on my son’s behalf for having made the mistake of ending his own life. Secondly, to clean the impressions of sadness and dejection from the mind and memory of his soul. It is believed that we often wake up from sleep thinking of the same things that were on our mind when we fell asleep. The prayers tomorrow will be made to Lord Shiva, who is the Lord of the Living and the Dead. The Hindu belief is that He will refresh his spirit and enable my son’s soul to achieve ‘Moksha’ – the freedom from the cycle of birth and death. This is what the saints and wise men spend their lives trying to achieve.
I feel grateful to be here, once again at the seat of profound knowledge and in close proximity to the pious Mother Ganges. This is the best I can do for him and for myself now. It is another opportunity to reaffirm my faith in the Universe, keep my peace and resolve some more of the grief.
Over the last week I have established contacts with his School and University expressing a desire to work with them to increase the awareness of mental illness in young people. Both the organisations have felt this need too and reciprocated with the intention of working together to the same end.
‘Loka samasta sukhino bhavantu.’ (May all people everywhere be happy.)
– Hindu prayer.