On a few occasions, after I’ve shared the story of Saagar’s brief
illness and sudden death in public, one or two individuals, often men, who’ve
possibly been through their own difficulties, have said that there was nothing
I or anyone could have done to stop him. I know they mean well and speak from
experience. I appreciate them reaching out to me.
For a few microseconds, on rare occasions, I have told myself that may be it’s true that Saagar’s death was not preventable. I have felt my shoulders relax, my tummy unknot and my mind quieten.
Life would be so much easier if I could believe/ accept/
give in to the concept that no matter what, Saagar’s death was inevitable. That
the planets were misaligned and his demons got the better of him. That this was
his destiny and it was ‘written’ in the balance sheet of his karma. Life would
be easy if I could be complete with the fact that many people with depression/
Bipolar/ other mental illnesses will die young. Sometimes within 10 weeks of their
diagnosis. What if I changed my outlook so I could have peace?
What if 3 decades ago everyone accepted that people who got AIDS would be dead within a few months or years. And then nothing more was done about it. That’s just the way it was and that’s how it would stay. Would we reach the stage where we are today, where thousands of individuals lead near normal lives for decades on regular medication, where HIV is not passed on from a carrier to another if the former’s viral load is sufficiently low.
Today, in the UK, cancer care is excellent and cancer research
is huge. Anyone who gets diagnosed with cancer can be sure to get prompt and
high quality specialist care for as long as needed. So much so that if a child
is diagnosed with cancer, the parents automatically get assigned a therapist. We
have come a long way.
On the other hand, if a child or an adolescent gets a mental
illness, the patient can barely get the attention they need. Never mind the
parents. It can hardly be a co-incidence that all the bereaved parents I meet
are certain that more could’ve been done to help their child. Not all of them
are deluded. Or are they?
Here’s Robert and Linda’s story. They sadly lost their talented young son Richard Wade. They too believe his death was preventable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FofR47rM1BQ
The more we ‘accept’ that these young deaths are inevitable (as the myth goes) the more we keep quiet, the less likely it is that things will change. Accepting might be the wiser thing to do. It might be better for our mind but it may also contribute to future deaths. The easy road may be the wrong road.
We’ve reached 41% of the funds we need to complete the film, 1000 days. Please help us release this film so we can bust some of the myths that surround suicide and bring this subject into society’s consciousness.
Click on: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/1000-days
A big fat THANKS to all of you for being a constant source
of strength for me.