Last Thursday night I had to think about what to wear as I was going out. Proper going out – to a gig at a small venue in Tower Bridge. Hugo, one of Saagar’s closest friends from school had released a single in his memory and was performing live and raising funds for Papyrus. I would be seeing our friends, have a drink and possibly dinner at a restaurant.  Wow! About time. It’s been ages.

Took a train to London Bridge and as I was walking out of the station, 2 announcements came on in quick succession –

“The 1831 to Peterborough has been cancelled due to a person being hit be a train.”

“The 1830 to Horsham has been cancelled due to a person being hit by a train.”

That Thursday was back again. It was Day 0 again. At this very station, an announcement was made to say my train home had been cancelled. I found an alternative route without thinking once why my train was cancelled.

It is spreading. Despite everything we do. It keeps happening. This morning I woke up to talk of another lock-down and my heart sank. I have an income and a home and someone to share my life with. How many don’t? I have hope and optimism. How many don’t? How many other hearts sank this morning?

The prospect of going on living in a world without a warm touch or hugs or smiles is nothing less than a punishment. The morning is greyer and colder than it has been in a long time. The days are shrinking. I am reminded of 6 years ago, at this time of the year, as autumn was fast approaching and Saagar was ill, I was optimistic. I didn’t have the slightest doubt. I knew he would get better.

Now, I doubt my optimism.

PS: Please listen to this song and share it on: “Lay down” by Hugo Hartley on Spotify

Many more songs by him on Youtube:

4 thoughts on “Optimism?

  1. Dear Sangeeta
    Hugo’s song is beautiful and a lovely tribute to Saagar.
    Don’t lose faith – you are an inspiration to so many people and to me. These dark times will pass. You have done so much with your work with Papyrus- things will get better. It’s such a tough situation for our young people going through this pandemic – but it will pass xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your encouragement Julie. Yes. All we can do is, sow the seeds and pray that hope, healing and a deeper level of understanding comes out of it. It might take a few life-times. Wishing you peace. Love, S. xxx


  2. Dear Sangeeta, a beautiful song and thank you for sharing it. A lovely tribute to Saagar. These are difficult times but we will come through this. Take good care. Xxx


  3. Dear Sangeeta
    It’s a wonderful song, very moving and a lovely tribute to your beloved Saagar. Hugo has a beautiful voice. Thank you so much for sharing his music. Thank you too for sharing your blog which I always enjoy reading. Keep well and safe.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s