Day 943

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Love is…

Time has 3 dimensions.
Truth has 3 dimensions.
Consciousness has 3 dimensions.

The essence of the past is love.
Everything in the present is aimed at love.
Same is the hope for the future.
Love is what makes us complete.
Love is infinite, never ending…hence incomplete.

Love alone is supreme – a river of life,
Seeking the ocean of existence.
Your source is love and goal is love.
The path is also love.

Love is our very nature.
Though love is only one, it manifests in many ways.
Praising is uplifting – an expression and awakening of divine love.
Seeing divinity in every form – trees, flowers, road, TV, others, self …
Knowing that we are born out of fullness – wanting to offer and give.
Remembering someone you love kindles love.
Memory, a deep impression of divinity.

A desire to serve and surrender willingly to the divine is love.
Being a friend, relaxing together is love.
Seeing divinity as a child, like baby Krishna or infant Jesus.
Making the divine your beloved.
Dissolving oneself in the divine is love.

Being one with the universe is love.
Unbearable longing for the divine is love.

Love is the language of our soul.

(Source: Teachings of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar)

Day 940

The dark thing that sleeps in me

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Thomas Joiner, author of “Lonely at the Top: The high cost of Men’s success” is an avid suicide researcher. He lost his father to suicide.

His career choice is dismissed by some as : “You’re just trying to fix your own psychological problems, just like all mental health professionals.” Having psychological problems is not insulting. They are common, often treatable and nothing to be ashamed of.

Surely, heart and cancer researchers are not perceived in the same light. This is another reflection of the stigma that surrounds suicide.

Stigma is fear combined with disgust, contempt and lack of compassion – all of which flow from ignorance. We need to understand that suicide is not easy, painless, cowardly, selfish, vengeful or rash. It is not caused just by medicines, anorexia, smoking or plastic surgery. It is partly genetic and influenced by mental disorders which in themselves are agonising. That it is preventable (eg. through means restriction like bridge barriers) and treatable (talk about suicide is not cheap and should warrant specialist referral).

Once we get all that in our heads, we need to let it lead our hearts.

“I am terrified of this dark thing that sleeps in me,
All day I feel its feathery turnings,
Its malignity.”
– by Sylvia Plath

Source: ‘Myths about Suicide’ by Thomas Joiner.

Day 935

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Defeated as a dead dog

At the end of my meditation, I don’t want to open my eyes. There is nothing more to see. I don’t want to open my mouth. There is nothing more to say. All is done. There isn’t much more. It would be ok to have a quite existence in an obscure little place that no one has heard of.

At the end of my meditation, the word ‘acceptance’ hits me like an arrow right in the middle of my forehead. What is the distinction between ‘acceptance’ and ‘resignation’? How can either be experienced without a sense of defeat?

Where is the need to wake up to an alarm every morning?  Where is the need to wade through the London traffic every day? What for? There are more peaceful ways to get through time. I long for them.

The last bit of Liz Lochhead’s poem ‘Favourite Place’ written in memory of her husband:

“But tonight you are three months dead
and I must pull down the bed and lie in it alone.
Tomorrow, and every day in this place
these words of Sorley MacLean’s will echo
through me:
The world is still beautiful, though you are not in it.
And this will not be a consolation
but a further desolation.”

Day 930

Anthony

Look out for me and watch the signs
I have come to you, so many times
I am a feather that falls from the sky
I am in those events that make you think – why?

I know that you feel me when I am around
I guess there’s breeze or a certain sound
I can see in your eyes my presence is felt
In a movement, a glimpse, or something you smelt.

In my new life I’m different, there’s so much to do
But still my thoughts turn back to you
I sometimes play truant from this world of beauty
I must get in touch, I feel it’s my duty.

For giving me life, for just being there
For showing me love. For showing you care
I feel I must thank you and tell you each day
That I know I am loved, that won’t go away.

Despite all the sadness a cruel world applied
You kept me afloat till the day I died
And now I can tell you- have no fear
For certain I know you will meet me here.

So in the days ahead, till the end of your life
Whatever the worries, whatever the strife
Keep strong, keep loving, keep living with joy
Remember me … your friend, your boy.

‘From son to his loving Mother’ by Anthony’s dad for his wife Nicola who uses Anthony’s favourite T-shirt as her pillow case.

Day 922

Me and Mine

Where dost thou seek Me?

Lo! I am beside thee.
I am neither in temple nor in mosque
I am neither in Kaaba nor in Kailash.
Neither am I in rites and ceremonies,
nor in Yoga and renunciation.

If thou art a true seeker, thou shalt at
once see Me : thou shalt meet Me
For the priest, the warrior, the trades- man,
and all the thirty-six castes alike are seeking for God.
Hindus and Moslems alike have achieved that End, where remains no mark of distinction.

O friend!  Hope for Him whilst you live, know whilst you live,
understand whilst you live, for in life deliverance abides.
If your bonds be not broken whilst living, what hope of deliverance in death ?

It is but an empty dream, that the soul shall have union with Him
because it has passed from the body
If He is found now, He is found then,
If not, we do but go to dwell in the City of Death.

If you have union now, you shall have it hereafter.
Bathe in the truth, know the true Guru, have faith in the true Name!
It is the Spirit of the quest which helps ; I am the slave of this Spirit of the quest.”

Do not go to the garden of flowers.
O Friend! go not there.
In your body is the garden of flowers.
Take your seat on the thousand petals of the lotus, and there gaze on the Infinite Beauty.

TELL me, Brother, how can I renounce Maya?
When I gave up the tying of ribbons,
still I tied my garment about me
When I gave up tying my garment,
still I covered my body in its folds.
So, when I give up passion, I see that
anger remains ; And when I renounce anger, greed is
with me still ; And when greed is vanquished, pride
and vain glory remain; When the mind is detached and casts Maya away, still it clings to the letter.

THE moon shines in my body, but my
blind eyes cannot see it.
The moon is within me, and so is the
sun. The unstruck drum of Eternity is
sounded within me, but my deaf
ears cannot hear it.
So long as man clamours for the me
and the Mine, his works are as naught.

When all love of the me and the Mine
is dead, then the work of the Lord
is done. For work has no other aim than the
getting of knowledge.

When that comes, then work is put
away.

Saint Kabir