Watch it!

After a long wait, we can watch it. Not in a cinema but on the largest screens available in our homes. You might know that a few years ago we set out to make a short documentary on the life of Saagar and our lives after him. I am so happy that it can now be watched at the link below by clicking on the box that reads 1000 days and entering the password as suggested: hiddenFF2021

Presently this film is available through the Hidden Film Festival website but in time it will be a resource to increase the understanding of suicide and bereavement by suicide and the value of kindness. I hope it will generate constructive, life-affirming and healing conversations. It is 20 minutes long and is available till Friday, the 4th of June. At present it is doing the rounds of international film festivals and has been selected for 7 major ones. Thank you for holding Saagar in your hearts the way you do. For shouting out love and hope.

Cast: Freddie, Hugo, Seb, Sam, Bex, Rosie, Azin, Simon, Saagar and I.

Filmed and produced by the magical duo Jeanette Rourke and Ron Bambridge.

What some people have said:

“I cannot get the film out of my head (in a good way!). I am really impressed with the professional job done on the filming and opening drone shots of where you live etc.”

“It is beautifully made and the editing done with such sensitivity. I also loved the music – definitely sounded like a professional music for film composer.”

“Thank you so much for the film and it really brought me a lot of comfort especially  in a rough week like today when I have grief burst. I am grateful to have to know you in this difficult journey and what you have been sharing about your beautiful Sagaar, your thoughts and your journey milestones has helped me tremendously.One thing I learnt from 1000 days is that the hope of surviving this unsurvivable pain which you gave me through your story. Thank you so much Sangeeta.”

Thank you all for funding this film. For illuminating this world in your own special way!

PS: Please feel free to share it on.

13 thoughts on “Watch it!

  1. Thank you for sharing this, I watched it in the quietness and solitude of the morning wondering whether it was advisable given I have to work today. It is a beautiful film and a wonderful tribute to not only Saagar’s life and to yours too Sangeeta. It offers hope and is a reminder that we are indeed all part of a greater spirit. With love and blessings to you, Roslyn xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Roslyn. I hope to shine a light on our shared stories, our beautiful children and the huge loss that not just us, but the world incurs when they die young. This film is as much about you and Gareth as about Saagar and I. Lots of love, S. xxx


      • Yes Sangeeta it is indeed a tribute to all those sons and daughters lost to suicide and shows to everyone that it can be at anyone’s door tragically

        Much love and gratitude to you xxx


  2. What a beautiful film Sangeeta- it will stay with me. So moving. Saagar was a beautiful soul and reminds me of George ( funny and very kind) who we lost in 2017 ages 21xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful Moving Painful Important Rejoicing Emotional Educational Uplifting Sad Celebratory Tragic Supportive. Above all else, Optimistic

    I love it. How totally incredible to have made such a positive film about suicide.

    Thank you for sharing Saagar with us

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you Sangeeta for making this film. I had a lump in my throat and could have wept. Richard too was a kind person with a lovely sense of humour, lost in 2015.. I have shared the film. A beautiful film. Linda xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Sangeeta, the film did indeed represent me. You did an amazing job. The feedback from friends who I shared it with has been really positive. Thank you so much for doing it. Linda xxx


  6. A very moving film and I loved to see your precious son’s energy and smiles.
    Many of the messages are applicable to many families who have lost children to accidental self harming behaviours as well as through planned suicide. I don’t know if I have expressed this right. But hopefully what I am trying to say is that the failures of services affects many more families.
    Mental health support at the GP and at mh services are totally inadequate, sadly .
    More compassion is needed , and more professionalism. More robust procedures.
    More everyday kindness from everyone, more understanding that everyone’s different (and that words /tone of unkindness are simply not acceptable at any age ) – all this would /could save lives . There’s a lot of talk about mental health but in reality the complexity of different presentations is not widely understood. Bi-polar. BPD. Eating disorders. GAD. And more. There’s no typical presentation. That’s why listening to individuals and people’s lived experiences is crucial. And listening to families.
    Generally speaking we need ….
    Less bullying. Kinder employment practices.
    More regulation of things like gambling. More understanding of addiction. Etc
    More connection.
    In health services we need fewer delays, better communication, more listening, more vigilance, better admin support, more humility, more curiosity, more time for individuals, more coordination, regular meaningful liaison with families, and with other organisations, more signposting, faster diagnosis, a prompt care plan, thorough risk assessments, a prompt crisis plan, an end to thinking that they can downgrade someone’s care due to so-called ‘protective factors’ etc That’s just an excuse for not acting.
    Better medication supervision is needed. And a more holistic approach to include physical health checks. Etc. Eg Blood pressure. ECG. Cortisol levels. Etc etc Blood tests.
    More HOPE that some thoughtful, intelligent, kind and caring treatment and care is truly available.


    • Thank you for watching the film and sharing your insights. You completely get it. You have covered all areas that
      need addressed but no one is taking onus for anything. Do the people who can actually bring about change have the right motivations? What can we do? How can we work together? As you know common-sense is not allowed these days unless there is an RCT to say it should be. Would love to carry this conversation forward. Thank you.


      • Would also love to take the conversation forward. And work together.
        Once again may I say I am very sad for your loss. Precious sons and daughters of families up and down the country who love our children so very much. Our young people should be with us, living their lives to the full, getting caring/ professional /intelligent support. Why is this not possible? There’s so much talk but no improvements. In fact I think all the talk potentially makes things worse by giving the false impression there’s more understanding or more support. No! Sadly there’s very little.
        I am a member of TCF since last year.
        Please write to my email if you have time, and maybe we could meet perhaps. Or chat.
        I would appreciate connecting with someone about calling for change. I am close to London. Something definitely needs to be done to work towards meaningful change for young people who seek support in the healthcare system and getting parity with other healthcare departments.
        I work in a GP practice and worry that younger adults generally aren’t listened to properly by staff. (Other conditions such as brain tumours get missed too often , as many staff still assume young people will bounce back or they’re just making a fuss). So it’s not just at a clinical level but admin errors too. And lack of communication.
        People who are poorly don’t always ‘look’ poorly. Surely people realise that! Listening is key.
        My family and I are currently doing an informal process to try to find out why our son received absolutely no care. We tried everything. No one listened. No-one seemed close to be even capable of truly listening and that’s so worrying.
        We all realise that perfection isn’t possible – but we expect openness, reflection and a genuine understanding that it can’t continue like this, or at least the services need to signpost people elsewhere and be honest with families from the outset.


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