You must not call your husband by his name. Never. It is disrespectful.

(He is your master after all.)

Sunte ho? (Are you listening, In Hindi.)

Sonu ke Papa? (Sonu’s father)

E’ ji. (Here, Sir)

Rreeeeee (Something to the same effect, in Kannada)

These are examples of substitute names by which a wife may address her husband bypassing speaking his name.

Minoo was nineteen when she married someone, she had met only once. The handsome man in the photograph that she was allowed to gaze at, was now her husband. Meeting before marriage was not allowed. It was not considered necessary. In 1964, some thought it positively immoral.

Once married, she went to live in the house of her in-laws. The same rule applied. Except here, it was the law. She was prohibited from uttering his name. That was a problem.

She could have shortened Purushottam to Uttam, but his friends had already done that. So, that abridged name was taken by his equals. She had to find another way.

She had always liked the sound of the word, Sameer, which meant, sea-breeze.

“Can I call you Sameer? It’s not your name but will surely make life easy.” She asked him.

“Sure. I don’t mind.” said he.

That was that. Her mother-in-law could not object as Minoo called out to her husband by a strange new name that she had not heard before. Problem solved.

Over the years, Minoo became proficient at finding inventive solutions to many unforeseen problems, be it lengthening my frock or fixing a half-baked cake when the electricity went off partway through. She is my mother and although my father died three and a half years ago, she still thinks of him and loves him as her Sameer.