Day 34

This is a new town. This is a new day. It is an opportunity for me to renew myself.

I sit with my eyes closed and look at my internal landscape. It is bleak. All around me is immense serenity and beauty. I endeavour to internalise that splendid exterior environment and bring it into my being. I cannot do it without first finding my own centre, which I do after a little while. This is the place where everything becomes one, the place where infinity resides.

The universe, this life and time – these are non-linear entities, continuums.  Where does one oscillation of a pendulum end and the next begin? Where exactly does one season finish and the next start? How come it is thursday again? Why are dawn and dusk the most beautiful parts of a day? Where do my boundaries cease and your’s commence? What is the difference between life and afterlife? How many people have come and gone over the centuries? How many worlds exist other than the one we know of?

It is time to surrender the pain and the angst, to accept that this is just how it is, to know that things will change for the better, to have faith, to allow myself to experience joy, to know that he is at peace, to be grateful for all the memories and take pride in the fact that he was a star, still is and always will be.

I feel like me and my son are sitting on different parts of the same rainbow. I smile.

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