Day 362

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A couple of days ago I delivered a talk on ‘Psychosis’ to a group of friends interested in mental illnesses in the young. I didn’t spend much time in preparation although I did think deeply about it. On the day, I was surprised by the expressions that came out of my mouth. I was describing concepts that I had only ever visualized in my head. For instance, if we were to think of a physical equivalent of Psychosis, it would be as if someone was bleeding profusely. Their soul is bleeding. They are suffering great pain from a deep hidden wound. It felt as though I was saying things on behalf of my son, uttering the words that he could not, speaking authentically from experience.

When asked for feedback from the audience, there was silence for about 10 seconds after which someone said, “Mesmerising!” I was not bothered about the fact that I was ‘performing’ and was definitely not worried about what anyone thought. I just wanted to share my experience and understanding of psychosis so they could identify it when they saw it and know what to do about it.

Terry Pratchett has said, “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom”.

It seems as though I am being remoulded by my experiences. It makes sense and feels natural to be doing these kinds of things. It is like being in a fresh new clearing in the forest.

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