One wrong after another – worked in an unfamiliar environment with people I did not know all day – despite best efforts missed the much awaited appointment with my therapist due to late finish at work – we decided to miss King Lear at the Old Vic as we felt knackered – ran into two of Saagar’s school friends just outside the railway station on the way home – surprisingly, remembered their names despite them looking somewhat different from 6 years ago. One of them took my number and said he wanted to visit. We agreed to meet up for coffee next Tuesday. We didn’t talk about him but we gave each other big Saagar hugs.

Tears came rolling down as I walked away in the cold darkness with my arms crossed. I sobbed all the way home, the return walk that Saagar never made. Everything came back – the school, the friends, the life, the food, the laughter, the evenings, the books, the TV, the music… everything. The gaping hole got bigger and darker, swallowing me up.

Got a message from a friend asking me how I was. The story poured out of me like molten lava. I suppose if you ask someone ‘How are you?’, you’ve got to be willing to listen to the answer.