Dr Indu was broken inside out. She felt like a big black boulder and could barely hold her weight. After all these years of marching on alone and doing the ‘right’ things, this was her reward. Most of her friends had no clue what to say or do. After a few days it was clear that many of them could only stand by her for a week or 10 days max. This is when Indu remembered a passing acquaintance, Ruhi, a girl who wore long flouncy colourful skirts and big dangling ear-rings made of feathers and other dreamy things. She thought of her as a girl even though Ruhi had silvery grey hair and was seven years older than her.
Indu wanted to see Ruhi again. She didn’t know why but it had to be done. Indu posted her an invitation and as back-up, sent her a text with details.
The clear bright day was trying to cover-up the immensity of this death. Ruhi came in a flowing black dress with multiple strings of black wooden beads in various lengths cascading down, from her slender neck to her shapely waist. The ends of her long black sleeves opening-up like flowers to reveal her delicate hands. Not only did she have a pink lip-gloss on but also a serene smile. On this tearful day, she smiled on as if that was the most natural thing to do. No defiance or disrespect. A subtle involuntary smile, puzzling and misplaced.
She walked up to Indu and held both her hands in hers for a few frozen moments. She went on to open her arms and enclose Indu in them like a baby. “One day you’ll be grateful for this”, she whispered in her ear. By now Indu was used to hearing non-sense like “be brave”, “you’re so strong”, “such is life” and so on. She had learnt to ignore a lot. It took too much out of her to do anything more than that. “You have no idea what this is like” she thought to herself, feeling like a duplicate of herself amongst all these people. She drew back from Ruhi and looked into her dark brown eyes through her tearful ones. “Believe me. You will” Ruhi said softly.
Seven years have passed. Now Indu is as old as Ruhi was then.
And she remembers her horror at what Ruhi had whispered in her ear that day. The chains are falling off. Her vision is clearing. She notices more, within and without. She wants to live the truth. Be it. She knows it now. It’s all a ‘seeming’. All of this. It’s so clever. It fools us into believing it’s real. She has felt the presence of the divine in her broken heart. The blessings of a few fleeting golden moments of absolute grace have left her charmed with life and thirsty for more.
Indu and Ruhi meet up at the café that plays Bossa Nova jazz all day. They catch-up over large mugs of cappucino, sing and dance and take long walks together. They laugh and cry with abandon. Both wear pink lip-gloss and without knowing, they smile. Light as dust.
How many times I’ve heard the words ‘be strong, be brave’ or ‘ you’re doing so well’ by people who can’t know no matter how well intentioned. This is a beautiful story and I understand completely it’s message. It reminds me almost of John O’Donahue in his words ‘for the family and friends of a suicide’ when he says ‘this death was sent for’ which I cannot grasp or comprehend at this time almost one year on from the loss of my precious Gareth. Your words offer hope
With love Roslyn xxxx
Thanks Roslyn. It’s hard to go beyond the mind while trying to make sense of such things. This quote helped me – “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Love, S. xxx
A story of loss and connection so beautifully told. Illustrates the power of love and sharing the load. Reminds me of the poem The Gift. Where is the story from?
Thanks Marie. As it happens, I wrote this story in acknowledgement of the love, companionship and support extended to me by my female friends. So, in effect, this is dedicated to you. Much love, Sangeeta. xxx
Beautiful. The power of true friendships. Thanks Sangeeta.
I thought you would have written it and thank you. Much love.xx