Day 318

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Some people live their entire lives within a circle of 1 kilometre radius – born at the local hospital, went to the local primary and then secondary school, met their spouse at the local pub, worked at a local office or business and buried in the local cemetery. I met a lot of people like that in Northern Ireland and their level of contentment never ceased to amaze me.

At present, many countries are in a state of utter chaos. Multitudes of people are leaving their homes and countries to be somewhere better and safer even if it costs them their lives. Some venture out with their children. They step into the unknown with hardly any belongings or certainty. I wonder how desperate one has to be to do that!

One of the social factors well known to predispose individuals to psychosis is migration. There are 3 main reasons for it:

Family break-up
Adjust to living in large urban areas
Social inequalities in the new country

A Dutch study has shown that the risk of psychotic disorders is higher for non-Western immigrants to the Netherlands than for Dutch citizens. The risk of psychotic disorders in the Hague was highest among those who migrated between ages 0 and 4, but in those who migrated after age 29 the risk was no higher than that for Dutch citizens. Ethnic minority-related environmental exposures such as social disadvantage, exclusion and adversity after migration may explain the higher risk of psychotic disorder among younger migrants.

More than 2000 people have already died this year while attempting to cross the Mediterranean. Many more are missing or in camps. The refugee numbers in the Middle East run into millions of which thousands are children. Not only is the present state of affairs lamentable, it does not bode well for their mental well-being.

Day 317

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Pablo Neruda (1904-1973) was a Chilean poet who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1971.

In an essay called ‘Childhood and Poetry’ he speculates the origins of his work. He was raised in Temuco, which he describes as the farthest outpost in Chilean life. A rainy and mountainous town with the main street lined with hardware stores. Since the local people couldn’t read, the stores hung out eye-catching signs such as “an enormous saw, a giant cooking pot, a mammoth spoon or a cyclopean padlock. Farther along the street, shoe stores- a colossal boot.”

When he was still a little boy, playing in the lot behind his house one day Neruda discovered a hole in a fence board.

“I looked through the hole and saw a landscape like the one behind our house, uncared for and wild. I moved back a few steps, because I sensed vaguely that something was about to happen. All of a sudden a hand appeared – a tiny hand of a boy about my own age. By the time I came close again the hand was gone and in its place there was a marvellous white toy sheep.

The sheep’s wool was faded. Its wheels had escaped. All of this only made it more authentic. I had never seen such a wonderful sheep. I looked back through the hole and the boy had disappeared. I went into the house and brought out a treasure of my own: a pine cone, opened, full of odour and resin, which I adored. I set it down in the same spot and went off with the sheep. I never saw either the hand or the boy again. And I have never seen a sheep like that either. The toy I finally lost in a fire. But even now when I pass a toyshop, I look furtively into the window. It’s no use. They don’t make sheep like that any more.”

“This exchange of gifts – mysterious – settled deep inside me like a sedimentary deposit,” Neruda once said. And he associates the exchange with his poetry. “I have been a lucky man. To feel the intimacy of brothers is a marvellous thing in life. To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those whom we do not know, from those unknown to us, who are watching over our sleep and our solitude, over our dangers and our weaknesses – this is something still greater and more beautiful because it widens out the boundaries of our being, and unites all living things.

That exchange brought home to me for the first time a precious idea: that all humanity is somehow together. It won’t surprise you, then, that I have attempted to give something resiny, earth-like and fragrant in exchange for human brotherhood …..

This is the great lesson I learned in my childhood, in the back yard of a lonely house. Maybe it was nothing but a game two boys played who didn’t know each other and wanted to pass to the other some good things of life. Yet maybe this small and mysterious exchange of gifts remained inside me also, deep and indestructible, giving my poetry light.”

I’ve been a lucky woman too. Strangers and acquaintances, physical and virtual, of the present and the past are friends. We exchange some ‘good things of life’ while trying of make something good of the not-so-good things of life.

I am grateful for you and for the light you bring.

Day 315

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Gone to the Unseen by Rumi

At last you have departed and gone to the Unseen.
What marvelous route did you take from this world?
Beating your wings and feathers,  you broke free from this cage.
Rising up to the sky  you attained the world of the soul.
You were a prized falcon trapped by an Old Woman.
Then you heard the drummer’s call  and flew beyond space and time.

As a lovesick nightingale, you flew among the owls.
Then came the scent of the rose garden  and you flew off to meet the Rose.
The wine of this fleeting world  caused your head to ache.
Finally you joined the tavern of Eternity.
Like an arrow, you sped from the bow  and went straight for the bull’s eye of bliss.

This phantom world gave you false signs.  But you turned from the illusion  and journeyed to the land of truth.

You are now the Sun –  what need have you for a crown?
You have vanished from this world -  what need have you to tie your robe?

I’ve heard that you can barely see your soul.
But why look at all? Yours is now the Soul of Souls!

O heart, what a wonderful bird you are.
Seeking divine heights. Flapping your wings,
You smashed the pointed spears of your enemy.

The flowers flee from Autumn, but not you.  You are the fearless rose  that grows amidst the freezing wind.

Pouring down like the rain of heaven  you fell upon the rooftop of this world.
Then you ran in every direction  and escaped through the drain spout . . .

Now the words are over  and the pain they bring is gone.
Now you have gone to rest  in the arms of the Beloved.

Day 313

Posted by kidsaregifts20

The 2004 tsunami happened when he was 10 years of age. The TV coverage of the devastation caused by it was not just exhaustive but incessantly repetitive. It was heart breaking to witness so much death and destruction on such a massive scale take place within a few minutes. While I silently prayed for the well-being of those affected, he declared, “If such horrible things can be allowed to happen, there must be no God. I don’t believe in God anymore.”

I think the intensity of our feelings wanes as we get older. We get a bit emotionally obtunded. It is no wonder that there is no love as wonderful as the ‘first love’. The expansive feeling associated with that ‘first love’ is impossible to replicate.

When I hear the news these days, there is hardly anything that brings an expansive feeling. On the contrary, most items cause me to despair over the state of affairs in our world –

endless war, crashing economies, irresponsible banking practices, inhuman beheadings, bombs indeterminately ending innocent lives, desperate migrants, violent killings, governments fighting over the issue of the migrants and other money matters, sexually inappropriate behavior by people in trustworthy positions, high levels of unemployment, celebrity sex scandals………. the list goes on. Most of the news reflects a complete lack of compassion in one form or another.

The majority of it is not worthy of being heard by children but I am sure they hear it, read it or see it not once but many times in a day. On the train to work I often see school kids flicking through the free “newspaper” made easily available to all on the London transport network. It is free for a reason – because we are better off without it given it is full of s***. It is the worst way to start the day for anyone. I can only think that the impact it has on the sensitive hearts and minds of kids is to prematurely end their innocence.

Day 311

Posted by kidsaregifts20

This time last year, I had applied for a job in one of the most beautiful parts of the UK, the Lake District, with the idea of moving there with him as soon as possible.

I was somehow convinced that the hectic lifestyle and the chaotic energy of London were no good for him or for me. I thought the move would allow us to be closer to nature, live in a bigger and brighter house and be a part of a smaller and closer community. It could also mean better access to proper healthcare and support services. The high density of population in big cities can overwhelm the demand for Mental health services leading to a poor quality of care.

Having looked at these issues more closely now, there is evidence from India, a rapidly urbanising society to support these two facts:

Psychiatric disorders are rising across the world in line with urbanisation.
Cities are lonely zones. They breed psychiatric maladies. Increasing urbanisation means more loneliness and its collateral damage, depression.

The more cluttered our lives are with work, information, entertainment, technology and other trappings of worldly success, the less room we have for authentic intimacy and sharing of life’s challenges with those who really care. Until recently, the extended family and neighbours used to act as emotional buffers. Today, our cities are more crowded, yet more people live alone. Divorce rates are rising. There are more single person households. More people have fewer children. Work or education takes us far away from our families and communities. We constantly navigate between our needs to be on our own or with others. Over time, relationships thin out.

“Driven by the ‘cult of busyness’ we work more, sleep less, and allow technology to become the prime architect of our intimacies”, writes Sherry Turkle, MIT professor of Social Studies of Science and Technology, in her 2011 book, Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology And Less From Each Other. Loneliness also acts to increase our stress hormones, inhibit our immune system, stress our heart and is also a known factor for suicide.

Given that the rate of suicides and the use of antidepressants is steadily on the rise and so is urbanisation, there must be a co-relation. It is for us to recognise this malady and find a way of looking after ourselves and each other while living in big cities.