Day 3

Slept somewhat better last night as compared to the previous 2 nights. The tiny dose of melatonin definitely helps.

Woke up with a feeling of immense sadness and despair. Didn’t see the point in getting out of bed.

After about an hour and a half of crying and breathing and sobbing and sharing my thoughts with my partner, I managed to drag myself out of bed.

As the day progressed, the point of getting out of bed started to become clear. One of my young friends came to see me and broke into floods of tears. We took some time to be together in private and he shared his angst as he had come very close to the point of taking his own life just a few days ago for a wide variety of reasons. I realised there is so much pressure on youngsters these days! What is it about our society? The lack of personal connections, the high level of competition, the sense of doom and gloom all around us……….

Another theme that emerged during the course of the day, while speaking with 2 of my friends who are psychiatrists was that Bipolar disorder is one of the least well understood conditions. There are no clear guidelines for the carers, the patients or the doctors. This is the situation when the condition has a mortality rate of 25%!!! 1in 4 people diagnosed with this condition will die! They are usually in the age bracket of 16-25 years. How can this condition be managed so poorly? Who are the experts? Where is all the information? How can such young lives be allowed to go to waste?

The love that has been pouring out of the hearts of all our friends and family had been overwhelming!!!

Thank God for all this love! I hope my son can see this from wherever he is and know that he will always be the superstar that he always was!

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