Wow! This is another level of exhaustion altogether but there is a strange drive that keeps me going.
Having all this loving support all around me from all my loved ones gives me immense strength. Today was a day of organising the invitations to the cremation, the lunch venue thereafter, the priest, the caterers and a few other things. Thank God for friends and mobile phones!
Of all the visitors, the ones I really love speaking with are his friends. They give me a glimpse of how he was when I was not around, which seems to be even better than how he was when I was. They give me an insight into his world that was not visible to me. They also make me realise how crafty he was when it came to hiding how awful he really felt. They tell me he loved his Dad and me dearly and knew he had all the support he needed. They help me see his innocence, playfulness and kindness. They help me see that there is hope.
I hope together we can do something to ensure that nothing like this ever happens to any other family ever again.