Day 7

It’s one week today!

The events from a week ago run through my head over and over again. The shock and horror of it. The absolute finality of it.

The house is now filled with flowers, cards and letters from his friends, expressing their immense love for him. I finally got myself to go through the posts on his wall on facebook. God! So much love! They brought tears to my eyes. I feel like a part of this huge family which is grieving together. We hold him close to our hearts and we promise to never ever let his memory fade away. For the very first time, I post a message on his wall. I tell him I love him in front of the rest of the family and it feels really good.

It is Diwali today – the festival of lights. It’s like Christmas for the Indian community. My gift is seeing all this love and allowing it to lift me out of my darkness and looking at the future with the possibility of transforming this unbelievable grief into something beautiful. Don’t know when or what, but something, sometime.

Of all the roles I have played in my life, the role of being a Mum has always been my favourite. That has not changed and never will. I feel truly blessed.

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