For the first time since the 16th, today I got some glimpses of ‘equanimity’ within myself. There was a stream of visitors through the day – there were tears, sharing and lots of tea. I found that when I related the sequence of events to them, it did not shake me up inside. The words came out with some level of acceptance, even if it was not a 100%.
A walk in the park was the highlight of the day – walking past the logs of wood where my son and I sat together a few weeks ago, watching the setting sun, was very painful. On the 14th of october, I asked him to put the ikea bag full of cushions in the boot of the car, so that we could give it to the local charity shop. That bag is still there and I don’t want to ever move it. The sight and sound of trains is still very difficult! I never imagined myself as the person who would ever feel all of these things but I do. I feel like I have turned into a completely emotional being, with very little intellectual ability.
The cards and letters coming through are very touching. There is so much love in this world!
Life is too short to fit it all in.