Day 21

‘Big ass moooooon innit’

This was his post on facebook last month on the night of the full moon, like today. So typical! šŸ™‚

Today is exactly 3 weeks since the incident. Thursdays are proving to be the hardest days to get through.

I am happy that the last 2 years he was at university in a very beautiful city immersed in natural beauty. He walked or cycled everywhere and really enjoyed being there. Sometimes I wonder if his illness had started a while ago but did not surface because he was surrounded by nature which helped him keep his balance. May be coming back to London threw him off. I think we underestimate the importance of being close to nature in our daily lives, especially when we live in big cities and spend all our time indoors, in trains, offices or houses and restaurants.

Over the last few weeks of our time together, we would go for walks everyday. The first time he said – for you this must be like taking a dog out for a walk. It broke my heart. How bad must he feel about himself to say such a thing? I told him it was the most favourite part of my day. I would try to bring his attention to the sound of the rustling leaves, the chirping of the birds, the colours in the sky, the shapes of the clouds, the autumnal shades of the leaves, the freshness of the breeze, the beauty of the setting sun and so on…..

We may not share the earth anymore, but we still share the sun and the moon. Enjoy the full moon my darling. I love you. xxx

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