Day 30

It is the 16th ….. again!

That moment a month ago when the Police officer said he was sorry and handed me the belongings found in my son’s pockets, has run through my mind a million times since. It felt as if time had come to a stop. For what seemed like ages, I could not hear, see, feel or think anything. As if I had been cut off from the earth and was free floating in space.

When I think back to the start of September when the depressive phase of the illness had just started, I took some time off work and got him into a nice routine. He was on the correct medication already, I thought. So, once this was done, he and I would be able to manage. Not once during that time did any of the health professionals ask me if I had or needed any support. No one knew that I was a single parent, working full time, that all my immediate family lived abroad and my partner lived abroad too, that my ex-husband had a very busy job and could only take care of him for one or two days on weekends.

It is a fact that my son kept up with the routine till his very last day and went to the gym till the day before.

So, it is a myth that getting a routine is enough. The carers need support and expert guidance. They need to be educated about the warning signs of deterioration and information on the resources that they can call upon if they are concerned, other than the GP and A&E.

I hope something good comes out of this horrendous sequence of events.

5 thoughts on “Day 30

  1. Hi,
    I don’t know you personally but I happened to come across this blog and I’m very touched. Whilst stigma surrounding mental health isn’t in short supply, it is true that research and funding towards it is.
    I’m a medical student and I had my placement in psychiatry not too long ago. It was the toughest placements I ever had. I saw the extreme end of the spectrum where people were combating with multiple psychiatric conditions. The typical cohort was very different to the one you described your son to be in and this has taken away the stereotype I had unconsciously held regarding the condition.
    Your journey so far has touched me, and inspired me. I am not sure I have the strength to pursue a career in psychiatry. But should that happen, I would like to thank you for sowing the seed.
    Would I also be alright to share this blog? Maybe it’ll inspire some one else?
    Best wishes and condolences


    • Dear Sangam,
      Thank you for your comment. Good luck with your study of medicine. It is a hard but worthwhile road to pursue. Please feel free to share the blog with anyone who you think might find it useful or interesting.
      All best wishes,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s