Day 31

For the first time today, i wore non-matching socks on each foot. It made me smile. When my son used to do it I found it strange and funny but then I noticed some of his friends did the same thing. After all, what is the big deal? It is winter time and no one is going to see it. My feet are as warm as they would be with matching socks. So, it is really a non-issue if I decide to let it be. In fact it gave me great pleasure as I felt happy that he would feel he had ‘converted’ me in a sense.

It has been a day of exploring a new city. I could almost hear his voice commenting on the food, the language, the ambience and the girls as I walked around 🙂 He would have enjoyed this or found that funny – all day these thoughts went through my mind. Once again, the sunlight streaming through the clouds reminded me that he was not too far away.

The meaning of his name is ‘ocean’. When the tiny droplets of rain fell on my face, I could feel his presence in the water that had risen from the oceans and now came to me with love and gentleness.

I am making my way past the ”why”s and the ”if only”s, very very slowly.

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