Day 227


After a day of tedium, hassle and disappointments, this is the noise that blared in my head.

Sometimes everything seems to be stacked up against me. Why me? What wrong have I done? Is this some kind of a punishment? What for? Please tell me. Somebody. Please!

A cup of tea, a bit of chocolate, a big cry, a cuddle, a warm meal and a film later, the noise has quietened down. Over time I find myself reliant on other people’s kindness. Luckily my partner is extremely good with me. Why can’t I be kinder to myself? Is it because I am a virgo? That has to be a curse. Overly self critical and expecting too much of myself. I have always been like that without even knowing it.  It is terrible not just for me but also everyone around me. Now of all times, I must ease up. It doesn’t matter if I am not able to work as hard as I once could. It is not an offence to not be bothered to dress up well. It is ok to loose it completely sometimes.

The ‘always happy’ facebook pictures of everyone else in this world annoy the hell out of me. That is only one side of life. Why does no one ever share the other side? I am old enough to not care but I wonder what impact these pictures have on young people – if I am not as ‘happy’ as the others and not attending as many parties, there must be something wrong with me.

There isn’t. Let’s be kind to ourselves. Life is hard enough without putting unnecessary pressures on ourselves.

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