Recently, one of my friends, whose child happens to be autistic told me that she had managed to receive additional days of care for her son from her Local Council. It had been a bit of a fight as they normally would agree to much fewer days but she had put her foot down and was having none of their arguments. She had fought for the care her son needed.

It made me think about my role in the care of my son. While I repeatedly asked the GP to refer him to specialist services, and told him that I was really concerned about him again and again, I did not fight. I did not put my foot down and I did not demand that he must act on my request. Is it because I thought of him as a colleague and did not want to make his life difficult? Is it because I trusted his judgment implicitly? Or is it because I did not want to seem like a difficult parent? When I look back, I know that all along I had a feeling that all of us were missing something. I was uncomfortable. Instinctively I knew that not everything was being done to help him.

On looking back, it is easy to join up all the dots.

It is a pity we can’t do that as we go along.