Day 374

Old habits…

Before going to bed I stop as I turn  off the phone or put it on silent mode …. just in case he needs to call me at night.
When the breaks need to be applied suddenly while driving, my left arm extends and automatically reaches out to hold him back on the passenger seat.
While cooking, I still need to rethink and readjust the portion sizes.
I still want to note down the dates for the term breaks at college.
In the shops I stop and look for socks, shorts and t-shirts that he might like.
My ears listen out for any sounds coming from upstairs. I forget that no one lives there any more. That staircase leads up to nowhere.
When I take a nice picture I want him to see it.
The mind raising doubts on whether there was ever enough love in so many different words and ways!
Feet that keep falling one in front of the other incessantly.
A heart that continues to break into smaller and smaller fragments each day.
The world that passes in front of my eyes without forming any images.
Life that goes on for centuries upon centuries!
The breath that comes in and goes out again and again and again.

Strange old habits!

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