Day 658

20 minutes into a phone conversation with a close friend, he asked, ‘Do you feel free?’

Wow! Do I feel free? Is it natural for me to feel more free than I did before? Am I supposed to? How are different levels of freedom experienced? Does it have to do with being in a particular job or living in a particular city or having a particular partner or dressing in a particular way? Or does it have to do with how I feel within myself? Do I feel free?

Saagar was my pride and joy and also my responsibility. Now I feel responsible for the well being of all the young people out there. I have learnt that it’s not easy to be young. Earlier I was focused on providing for us but now it’s just Si and me. I don’t worry about us. I know we’ll be fine. Earlier I lived very much within my own little world and now I have a much more expansive existence. I often wasn’t very attentive or sensitive to the people around me but now I am. Having lost what was most dear to me, I fear nothing. From a place of survival, I find myself in a place where I have something to offer to the world. I need to be aware to not attach myself to any particular identity – doctor, grieving mother, victim, indian, woman, etc. All I am is human.

Hey! Guess what. I am free.

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