Day 404

Tutors and staff at universities struggle with the issue of confidentiality with regards to their students who are suffering with mental distress. While they are not trained counselors, they have the best interest of their students in mind. Yet, they are not allowed to take the parents of these students in confidence in the name of confidentiality.

Confidentiality is a foundational ethical standard for health professionals. It is the ethical duty to fulfill the promise that client information received during therapy will not be disclosed without authorization. It becomes a legal concern if broken, whether intentionally or not.

What if not breaking confidentiality leads to harm?
There are exceptions.

Confidentiality does not apply when disclosure is required to prevent clear and imminent danger to the client.
Protecting the client from harm must supercede the harm to the relationship that may happen due to a breach of confidentiality.

BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) Ethical Framework says:

“Situations in which clients pose a risk of causing serious harm to themselves or others are particularly challenging for the practitioner. These are situations in which the practitioner should be alert to the possibility of conflicting responsibilities between those concerning their client, other people who may be significantly affected, and society generally. Resolving conflicting responsibilities may require due consideration of the context in which the service is being provided. Consultation with a supervisor or experienced practitioner is strongly recommended, whenever this would not cause undue delay. In all cases, the aim should be to ensure for the client a good quality of care that is as respectful of the client’s capacity for self-determination and their trust as circumstances permit.”

The GMC reiterates the importance of confidentiality in good medical practice but does not talk of suicide in particular.

Courts usually consider two fundamental issues:

  • did the professional adequately assess the likelihood that a patient was suicidal?
  •  if an identifiable risk of harm was determined, did the professional take sufficient precautions to prevent suicide?

In general, the therapist is protected from liability if they have conscientiously performed and documented a thorough evaluation, followed by carefully considered, appropriate interventions.

Early diagnosis and treatment of mental illness is key for better outcomes. Hence the staff at schools and universities should be equipped with skills and knowledge to identify such illness in students. They should be empowered to get appropriate help for them at the earliest. 

In case of disclosure of severe suicidal ideation, the safety of the ‘at risk’ person should be the only concern.

 

 

Day 400

Wow! Four hundred days have gone by!
The first thought that barges into my head each morning, even today, is that Saagar chose to end his own life. He didn’t even say good-bye. He died alone. How could I have not known he was so ill? Where did I go wrong? Was my love not enough?
Slowly, over the last year or so, some of my friends and relatives have receded into the background whereas some of my acquaintances have really shown up. I don’t know what it is that stops some people from acknowledging this tragedy. Maybe they’ve moved on. Maybe it is their own inability to deal with it. The very thought of it must terrify them. Or else, this may be their idea of being considerate towards me. Best not to ‘remind’ me of this awful reality. I don’t expect anything of anyone but it is interesting to observe the attitudes and understand what lies behind them. Maybe no one talks about it simply because it is a taboo subject. I find that even when people do talk about it, they furtively look around first, to make sure there aren’t many people around and then softly whisper…………that is just how it is.

Sometimes I wonder what the biggest lesson for me in all of this is. Each time the first answer is : Be in this moment. The one that is right here in front of you. Own it. Live it. Cherish it.
I remember seeing Saagar for the first time as a 3 kilo bundle on the day he was born and thinking – “You adorable creature! I love you so much. I could die for you.” I have had the same thought many millions of times since then. If all that was required to keep him alive was love, he wouldn’t have died in a million years.
Whenever the old treacherous storm of emotions of guilt, regret and anger arises within me, it is a real battle. My awareness has to work its way against very harsh forces to find a place in my consciousness. It takes time but eventually I get past it with the strength of love.
This is my mantra: Stay with the love. Stay with the love. xxx

Day 396

Everyone can help prevent suicides because:

  • About 80% of the time people who kill themselves have given definite signals or talked about suicide
  • Most suicidal people don’t really want to die – they just want their pain to end

So, all one needs to know is:

  • How to identify someone at high risk (Warning signs)
  • What to do. (Intervention)

Warning Signs:

  • Observable signs of serious depression
    • Unrelenting low mood
    • Pessimism
    • Hopelessness
    • Desperation
    • Anxiety, psychic pain, inner tension
    • Withdrawal
    • Sleep problems
  • Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
  • Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
  • Threatening suicide or expressing strong wish to die
  • Making a plan
    • Giving away prized possessions
    • Purchasing a firearm
    • Obtaining other means of killing oneself
  • Unexpected rage or anger

DSM – V – Suicide Assessment Dimension

High level of concern:

1.Living alone, chronic severe pain, or recent (within 3 months) significant loss

2.Recent psychiatric admission/discharge or first diagnosis of MDD, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia

3.Recent increase in alcohol abuse or worsening of depressive symptoms

4.Current (within last week) preoccupation with, or plans for, suicide

5.Current psychomotor agitation, marked anxiety or prominent feelings of hopelessness

What to do?

Three Basic Steps:

  1. Show you care
  2. Ask about suicide
  3. Get help
  • Step One
    • Show You Care: Take ALL talk of suicide seriously
    • If you are concerned that someone may take their life, trust your judgment!
    • Listen Carefully
    • Reflect what you hear
    • Use language appropriate for age of person involved
    • Do not worry about doing or saying exactly the “right” thing. Your genuine interest is what is most important
  • Be Genuine : Let the person know you really care.
  • Talk about your feelings and ask about his or hers.
    • “I’m concerned about you… how do you feel?“
    • “Tell me about your pain.“
    • “You mean a lot to me and I want to help.“
    • “I care about you, about how you’re holding up.“
    • “I’m on your side…we’ll get through this.”
  • Step Two

Ask About Suicide

Be direct but non-confrontational

Talking with people about suicide won’t put the idea in their heads.

Chances are, if you’ve observed any of the warning signs, they’re already thinking about it. Be direct in a caring, non-confrontational way.

Get the conversation started.

  • You do not need to solve all of the person’s problems – just engage them. Questions to ask:
    • Are you thinking about suicide?
    • What thoughts or plans do you have?
    • Are you thinking about harming yourself, ending your life?
    • How long have you been thinking about suicide?
    • Have you thought about how you would do it?
    • Do you have __? (Insert the lethal means they have mentioned)
    • Do you really want to die? Or do you want the pain to go away?
  • Ask about treatment:
    • Do you have a therapist/doctor?
    • Are you seeing him/her?
    • Are you taking your medications?
  • Step Three
    • Get help, but do NOT leave the person alone
      • Know referral resources
      • Reassure the person
      • Encourage the person to participate in helping process
      • Outline safety plan

Referral Resources

  • Resource sheet: Create referral resource sheet from your local community
    • Psychiatrists/Psychologists
    • Other Therapists
    • Family doctor/pediatrician
    • Local medical centers/medical universities
    • Local mental health services
    • Local hospital emergency room
    • Local walk-in clinics
    • Local psychiatric hospitals
  • Hotlines : Samaritans : 116123 ; NHS: 111

Reassure the person that help is available and that you will help them get help:

  • “Together I know we can figure something out to make you feel better.”
  • “I know where we can get some help.”
  • “I can go with you to where we can get help.”
  • “Let’s talk to someone who can help . . . Let’s call the crisis line now.”

Encourage the suicidal person to identify other people in their life who can also help:

  • Parent/Family Members
  • Favorite Teacher
  • School Counselor
  • School Nurse
  • Religious Leader
  • Family doctor

 Outline a safety plan

Make arrangements for the helper(s) to come to you OR take the person directly to the source of help – do NOT leave them alone!

Once therapy (or hospitalization) is initiated, be sure that the suicidal person is following through with appointments and medications.

While doing all of this, remember to take care of yourself. xxx

Day 394

Having spent a few days away from it all and having enjoyed some space, I return to the hum-drum of life with a fresh perspective. I think of a recent conversation with a colleague who is excellent at what he does, works much too hard (by my standards anyway, and I am not lazy J) and earns a lot of money. On sharing that I would like to spend my time doing something more meaningful with my time, he said that he has wanted to write a book for a long time but has to work for another few years before he can change.

Maintaining a certain life style, providing for the kids, terribly high taxation leaving little in hand, high interest rates on debts, crazy property prices, not enough jobs in the market, too much red tape before one can set up one’s own business, fear of being ‘left behind’, so on and so forth…

What is it that makes us think that we ‘have to’ do certain things? What are our compulsions? Are they real or imagined? Are they conscious or sub-conscious? Is there really nothing we can do to ‘restructure’ our priorities and our lives – fire some old dead wood of habits and employ some new creative work force?

A learned man once said that every ‘practical’ decision we make is designed to fulfill an ‘emotional’ need. On close scrutiny, I can think of many examples of that in my own story – spending extra time at work seemingly because I need to but really because being at home was sometimes harder; moving cities and countries seemingly for career progression but really because of deep discontent giving rise to a need for change.

What would it take for us to free ourselves?

All that I must do, I’ve already done.
Let everything else be what I want to do.

(PS: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat. – Lily Tomlin)