This is.

9 am. The mist has cleared and the Red-whiskered Bulbuls are out with their sweet song, proudly wearing shiny black mohawks. Post-monsoon, the grass has shot up to nearly four feet high, its slender golden heads gently swaying in the cool light breeze. Pearlescent dew is clinging to the edges of the blades of grass. A frisky young jack-fruit tree is now competing with the elderly rosewood that’s been there for a decade. Coffee is brewing. An occasional motor-bike rumbles past. The chikoo (Sapodilla) tree is heavy with fruit. The palm frond is browning and half of it has peeled off the smooth striped trunk. A hint of jasmine in the air every now and then.

I sit here, breathing, looking at the hilly horizon and everything else, just as it is. Not one thing is wrong. Nothing out of place. The blinking of the eyes. Laughter, when it comes. Tears, when they come. Thoughts as they come and go. The Ficus extending skyward, regardless. The copper-leaf shrub being copper. The grass being its verdant green self. The breeze being its gentle self. This moment being open and present to me exactly as it is.

Not a thing missing. Nothing extra. Not a thing needing fixed or changed or made better.

All perfectly natural. Simple. This is. I am. We are.

A hundred shining circles

“The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.” – Maria Popova.

We have been those mirrors for each other for the last hundred fortnights. A few days ago, the Saturday group of the Circle of Remembrance met for the 100th time. It was a celebration of the love, the love we have for our children and for each other. Love that shows up as mutual support, respect and friendship. While many people have come and gone, some have stayed right from the start. We’ve walked together for four years. What a privilege that’s been. Such unique and intimate conversations, exploring the human condition through words like ‘home’, ‘freedom’ and ‘Grace’.

I wish I had reliable and wise friends like these in the Before. I wish I could listen with understanding that could penetrate any mask. I wish I had the ability for this kind of sterling emotional engagement. It does save lives. It has saved mine.

Earlier I believed that lives were saved mainly by highly trained professionals in well-equipped resuscitation rooms in big Emergency Departments and in Operating Theatres. Now I know that each day ordinary people save lives simply by being a 100% present, with everything they have.

The longer I live, the more deeply I know that love is gentle work.

Resource: Circle of Remembrance (online peer-support for bereaved parents): http://www.core-community.com