The various spaces in my head are vacant and full at the same time,
My heart starts to ache anywhere, anytime,
At having to let him go in his prime.
There seems to be no reason or rhyme,
For the clocks to chime.
Memories flood me from all sides,
Bringing joy and despair out from where they hide,
The inner chattering and the chides,
Take a stance opposite to my side!
The hearts on his pyjamas are lavender,
His name has vanished from my calender,
I know I need to surrender!
I wish he would show up in my dreams someday,
‘I love you, my darling!’ I would say.
Letting go completely is the thing to do, I know.
How do I do it? Where do I go?
Is this an ‘opportunity’ for me to grow?
I am not sure. Doesn’t feel like it. I don’t think so.
My field of energy expands and contracts all day long,
I watch the waves rise and fall,
Sometimes I am so proud and stand tall,
Other times I feel like rolling up into a ball
And plunge into a slumber too deep for any call.