Day 93

Of course he played video games. Don’t they all?

I have been observing my mind looking into every nook and cranny hoping to find a reason, a trigger or an explanation despite innately knowing that he suffered from an illness. Mostly it indulges in regret – I should have known better; I should have spent more time with him; I should have spoken less and given him more opportunity to share; I should have been more patient and such like. Other times it looks for clues in his behavior. The problem with that is the indistinct line between normal and not-so-normal. The latest one is video games.

He liked playing them although not for great lengths of time. Sometimes he would make me sit with him and watch him play. I did not enjoy that at all and often discouraged him as I thought they were too violent and completely senseless. For him it was just entertainment. He rationed the amount of time he spent on it so I did not worry too much.

After spending quite a while looking for one source of concise information on the link between mental illness and video games, this is what I found. Although it is one of the pages of a de-addiction center website, it is informative.

There is a lot of conflicting material available on the subject depending on the source of publication. A co-relation between depression and anxiety disorders and Internet overuse exists. However, it may not be a causative one. In some cases it helps patients cope with their illness.

I still struggle to believe that violent video games do not have an impact on children’s psyche, however subtle.

2 thoughts on “Day 93

  1. You need to work towards accepting that this disorder causes serious suicidality, that far too many of us commit suicide and that it was absolutely not your fault. And people who make one serious attempt may even keep trying till they get it “right”. It’s highly doubtful you could have prevented it. It’s utter hell to lose anyone to suicide, I can’t even begin to imagine how horrific it must be to lose a child. Please blame the disorder and not yourself. And…hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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