It was fancier than I thought it would be.

Broadcasting House was intimidating but once we stepped in we were met with nothing but politeness and sensitivity. They even arranged for a taxi to pick us up. I am not used to being so spoilt.

The cups of tea were much needed and lovingly offered. The inside of the premises were as modern as the outside of the building was old. A multitude of wall mounted flat screens, computer terminals, autocues, cameras and all kinds of efficient looking people walking around with headsets and hand-held radio sets filled the space in an elegant manner. I am not even sure of the proper names for some of the things that were there.

There were many interconnected corridors, mostly dotted with what seemed like a lot of make-up rooms. I was guided into one of them where a lovely lady called Julia made me BBC camera worthy.

I was at the studio for the live screening of a 17 minute slot on ‘Suicide’. There were 3 other panelists who shared their stories. Very moving and insightful. Although the format was informal, I was glad to note that the conversation had a definite suicide awareness and hence prevention emphasis.

On getting home from work, with slight nervousness I turned the TV on to watch the recording of the programme. I was happy but sad. I would have much preferred to spend the morning with my son at home. I wonder where the strength comes from! One part of my brain says, ”This cannot be happening. It is terrible!” Another says, “Something has to be done about this.” Yet another part is just vacant and wandering and watching the other two combat each other. The result varies from minute to minute.

I don’t know how I carry on.

It must be ‘Grace’. It is bestowed upon us for no particular merit. It flows through me as a result of the blessings of my parents and my Guru, the love and best wishes of near and dear ones, the support of all you good people out there and the good deeds of my fore-fathers and my son.

The first 17 minutes of the programme might be of interest to you.