I wake invisible.
I make a needle
from a porcupine quill,
sew feet to legs,
lift spine onto my thighs.
I put on my rib and collarbone.
I pin an ear to my head,
hear the waxwing’s yellow cry.
I open my mouth for purple berries,
stick on periwinkle eyes.
I almost know what it is to be seen.
My throat enlarges from anger.
I make a hand to hold my pain.
My heart a hole the size of the sun’s eclipse.
I push through the dark circle’s
tattered edge of light.
All day I struggle with one hair after another
until the moon moves from the face of the sun
and there is a strange light
as though from a kerosene lamp in a cabin.
I pun on a dress,
a shawl over my shoulders.
My threads knotted and scissors gleaming.
Now I know I am seen.
I have a shadow.
I extend my arms,
dance and chant in the sun’s new light.
I put a hat and coat on my shadow,
another larger dress.
I put on more shawls and blouses and underskirts
until even the shadow has substance”
Our house is being rejigged, redecorated and rearranged. For the last 10 weeks we have been staying at a friend’s house. It has been a very nice change and today we move back. It has suddenly hit me hard. When we go back, he will not be there to see how it looks, to enjoy the newness of it, to invite his friends over. It’s his house but ……
I have a big cry and go to his memory book for comfort:
I’ll never forget the Christmas pantomime (Alladin) in your first year…. That was the first time I really saw what you’re like. Your performance (as Widow Twankee) was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen – I could not get over that long skirt, those huge balloons and the absolutely ridiculous accent. You made an outstanding woman! I thought, ”This guy! He’s cool!”
Being back in Durham this year isn’t the same without you. Your passion is very much missed. No matter when I would see you, you would always have a great comment or a witty joke. Hearing the stories today was so special – you truly touched the lives of everyone around you.
To such a great guy. Rest in peace. –AH
Since it is panto season again. Here are the links to some amateur entertainment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QgRSeYM-Ls Alladin Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67OAmwS_RV8 Alladin Part 2