Day 186

He was A’s ‘brother from another mother’. They claimed to be having a ‘bromance’. They completely got each other and laughed a lot together. They could find something funny in the simplest of situations. They both had a thing for the colour pink. Their constant giggling was infectious. They were inseparable. They loved each other.

During his manic phase he did something to upset A. It was so bad that A did not speak to him for what seemed like a long time. He missed him terribly.

University terms began and his friends went away to their respective courses. He felt left behind. We decided he would take this year as a gap year. Something he had not done after finishing school. Once he got better he could go travelling and work for a while.

One morning he told me that he had received a call from A and they had patched up their differences. His smile was faint but he was ecstatic.

When A came to see us after he had passed away he said, “I am so glad I called him up that night.”

Me too. Life is too short to be little.

Day 185

Despite someone’s remark on how commendable it is that I manage to smile and go about my business, I know that of late I have not been smiling a lot.

This morning I woke up with a resolve to consciously smile all day long. After brushing my teeth I stood smiling in front of the mirror. It felt and looked like a totally fake smile yet something inside of me lifted and shifted and shuffled around a little.

Mmmmm…Nice.

After a while I was back there looking at my reflection and this time it felt a little more natural to have a hint of a smile on my face. I noticed how one corner of my mouth actually rises up higher than the other. Strange! I could feel the energy within me rising up.

As I was preparing my bag to go to work, taking a few things out, sorting out the pens and the keys I heard someone humming a nice little tune. It was me.

I suppose I just need to keep practicing. It’s free. No fitness prerequisites. No visits to the gym. No coaching required. Benefits guaranteed, not just for me but also for those around me.

“The visible sign of utter love is an undying smile.”
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

Day 182

Now I know how a fish must feel when it is pulled out of water before it dies. I know what it feels like to be dying of a broken heart. I now know what it feels like to be close to the edge. I have felt the treachery of time.

That was his life and this is mine.

However I may want to describe the present moment, it is all I have.
I need to acknowledge and honour that.
I need to allow it to be.

The more I focus on time, the past and the future, the more I miss this moment right now, right here in front of me. This is the most precious thing. It is all there is. This is where and when life is happening and unfolding. It is now. This is where I can access the timeless and formless realm of Being that lies beyond the limited confines of my mind.

This is true for us all.

“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.” – Eckhart Tolle.

The moon has no light of its own. It can only reflect the light of the sun. Similarly the past and the future are only pale reflections of the light of the eternal present.

Wise words by Arthur Ashe: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”