“They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence”, says Dalai Lama about healthy young people who die.
I’ve been working on reviving my spirits for the last few months. I am not who I was on Day 0 or before. Never will be. As I sat for a long time last evening looking at a conical cluster of logs burning, after all the flames and smoke was gone, what remained was the warmth of the fire and the orange glow at the heart of it. I felt that warmth and glow reflected in my heart. The fire was my mirror, my friend.

Last summer I was driving on the motorway at about 75 miles per hour on a Saturday afternoon. I had had a very busy week and felt exhausted. The day started off rather cool but warmed up very well by noon. Before I knew it my eyelids went a bit droopy. I was only 10 minutes away from my friend’s house so I turned up the volume of the music and kept going. After a short while I got a gentle nudge on the right side of my head. I realized I had nodded off and my car had gently scraped the central divider. There were no other cars around. I crossed three lanes on to the hard shoulder, stepped out of the car and looked at the damage done. One tyre was punctured and there were a few scrapes on the side. That’s all. I had escaped without a scratch and no one else got hurt. Phew!

Was there a reason for my survival? Was someone looking out for me? Was it just a random act of kindness by Lady Luck? I didn’t think much about this incident. It was just one of the many things that happen and I take for granted. I am grateful, but I wonder why I was spared.