Day 220

Change is the only thing that is constant.

That is true for our bodies, our minds and the world around us.

Over the past few months my life and priorities have changed drastically in so many different ways. The fact that I am a doctor meant something to me but now it is immaterial. My notion that living in a big city means there isn’t enough time has been proven utterly wrong. My limited vision of having time and resources just enough to look after my family and myself has also been challenged. I now have time for learning about mental illness and sharing that learning. I have enough time for myself, his friends and mine, to reach out to a lot of people on a personal basis and through this blog.

Yet, when someone says, ”Something good comes out of every misfortune.” I want to kill them.

From a place of holding on to all his things as tightly as I could, I have reached a point where selected items are passed on to carefully selected individuals who fulfill a very specific set of criteria, bearing in mind what he would have wanted.

This evening I shared with a Consultant Psychiatrist friend that I was puzzled by the strong evidence in medical literature about the cause of Bipolar disorder being essentially genetic. As far as I know there is no history of overt mental illness on either side of his family.

On a lengthier and deeper exploration of the subject it emerged that some behaviours and personality traits can be sheltered and covered up in a way that they appear ‘normal’ for a particular person or family when in fact they are milder forms of the illness which can then find full expression further down the line in future generations.

Just as I expect everyone else to, I must give ‘parity of esteem’ to mental illness as well. Just like physical illnesses claim lives, so do mental ones, especially when managed poorly.

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