Loneliness and belongingness
In the interest of electrical safety, some trees had to be cut down. Luckily, not the one above as it is out of the way of the lines. I simply watched as a man scrambled up a tree with a machete and single-handedly, branch by branch, slayed it within minutes. It felt like witnessing a murder I had paid for. I wonder which one of these is more painful for a tree – to be hacked down bit by bit or to be neatly slit across the trunk with a chain-saw.
She emerged from the fields on my left while I was walking on a country-road this evening. She looked so real. So earthy. So lovely.
Before I knew it, I was asking her permission to take a photo of her. Saying neither yes, nor no, she went her way. I felt utterly foolish for thinking I could catch anything about her in a photo. She must’ve been tired after a long day at work. I wonder what it was I wanted to capture and why. I wonder how she felt in that moment. I wonder if living in a village is enough to extricates the city-dweller in you.
A few seconds later I turned around and clicked.
‘How can I trust you?’ says Neo.
“It is a pickle. No doubt about it. (Pause) Candy?”
‘You already know if I’m going to take it?’
“Wouldn’t be an oracle if I didn’t.”
‘But if you already know, how can I make a choice?’
“Because you didn’t come here to make the choice. You’ve already made it. You’re here to try to understand why you made it.”
The longer I live, the more I remove all that is unnecessary, the more I see why I might have, knowingly or unknowingly made the choice to be here in the first place.
To be enthralled by the mysteries of life and death and the awesome ways in which our numerous programs, some within multiple others, work or don’t. To be in wonderment.
To see each day as the unveiling of yet another secret – the toothless smile of a four-week-old infant in response to me looking at him and speaking nonsense words with love in my eyes.
To experience each moment on this exceptionally spectacular planet, as a miracle not owed to me.
To appreciate the unfathomable source of the mathematical intelligence of golden ratios held within the ordinariness of a pine-cone, a pineapple and the head of a sunflower.
To listen with fascination using not just my ears but all my being.
To allow spontaneous, effortless, un-self-conscious expressions to flow.
To be surprised and amazed by the everydayness of extra-ordinary pieces of writing and music.
To be touched by simple kindnesses. To celebrate love and joy.
To be enthralled by rivers, skies, clouds and mountains.
To notice each of these gifts and marvel at them.
I wish you and me, a Wondrous New Year!
Please share your moments of wonder in the comments as often as you like. I have started noting them down in my calendar:
1st Jan 2025: My hands finished a new Mandala on the wall of a restaurant in Patnem (Goa) – completely unplanned.
2nd Jan 2025: My train from Goa to Sakleshpur arrived in time! I had to change my seat four times, but I had a fantastic journey. The train was delayed only by half an hour. A young man seated next to me on the train asked me if I was a writer. “Do I look like one?” I asked. He said, yes. “Is that a complement?” I asked. He said, yes. Made my day.
3rd Jan 2025: Wonder where the inspiration for this blog-post came from.
Mandalas draw me into their whorls. A casual glance is never enough. My gaze gets fixated on each one and I lose myself in the movement and the stillness in that form. The patterns seem to be spontaneous and well thought through, calm and dynamic, chaotic and yet, organised. The literal meaning of the word is, a sacred circle and it feels like one.
A random advert on YouTube and I was at the local stationery shop buying a geometry box. I needed a compass and a protractor for the Mandala Workshop I had signed up for. I was excited at the prospect of making one but also worried about making a mess of it. My artistic abilities are fairly limited but I am a good doodler. Many a lengthy-phone-call have produced intricate henna-esque patterns on the handiest bit of paper loitering on my table.
The first thing the facilitator said was, today you will draw your Universe. Don’t erase anything. There are no mistakes. You will see, everything has a place, even the so called ‘mistakes’. So, erase nothing. It’s not about producing a beautiful piece of art. It’s about the process. After making the grid, she had us light a candle and guided us through a grounding exercise. Then she played a mellow piano tune and asked us to start from the centre of the circle and work outwards with a black uniball pen. No rules. No meaning. No right. No wrong. No special colours or materials. Just allow whatever wants to appear on the page to appear.
She said this practice can heal us as it opens the heart, takes place in the moment and is non-judgemental. Watch your inner critic coming at you pointing its index finger. Ignore it and carry on. Smile 🙂
kidsaregifts 