oneness

No two. Only one.

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(Photo credit: Sangeeta Mahajan. Sunrise on the Nilgiris. Oct 2026)

Today has been the day of dragonflies, hundreds of them swooping down the hill, past me as I sit on my balcony gazing at the gorgeous blue mountains of South India in the gentle afternoon sun. I am at an Ayurvedic centre (Indian traditional medicine) situated in the most scenic part of Tamil Nadu, known to be inhabited since prehistoric times. I am here, resetting my system, reminding myself what a healthy daily routine looks like and in the process getting looked after with daily massages and freshly cooked meals.

Being here at present is serene, soulful, safe and sacred. Holding myself and my body with love and honour. Returning to myself afresh. Being still and silent. Smiling on the inside, singing on the outside. Who would’ve thought this possible, even for the briefest moment. Yes, tomorrow I might turn into a puddle on the floor but right now, I am okay and that is a blessing.

Every week we chant ancient Sanskrit mantras. This week we chanted a set of verses written by an eighth century sage, philosopher and teacher of Non-duality, Adi Shankara. When asked by a young boy, who are you? He responded:

“Neither am I the Mind, nor the Intelligence or Ego,
Neither am I the Ears, nor the Tongue, eyes or Nose,

Neither am I the Sky, nor the Earth, Neither the Fire nor the Air,
I am Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I the Breath, nor the Five Vital elements,
Neither am I the Body, nor its Five Sheaths,
Neither am I the organ of Speech, nor the Hands, nor Feet,

I am Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I Hatred, nor Attachment, Neither Greed nor Infatuation,
Neither am I Pride, nor of Envy and Jealousy,
I am Not within the bounds of Righteousness, Wealth, Desire nor Liberation,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I bound by Merits nor Sins, neither by Joys nor Sorrows,
Neither am I bound by Sacred Hymns or Places, Scriptures or Sacrifices

I am neither Enjoyment, nor an object to be Enjoyed, nor the Enjoyer,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I bound by Death and its Fear, nor by the rules of Caste and denominations,
Neither do I have Father and Mother, nor do I have Birth,
Neither do I have Relations nor Friends, neither Spiritual Teacher nor Disciple,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

I am without any Form or Variations,
I am Present Everywhere as the underlying Substratum of everything,
Neither do I get attached to anything, nor get freed from anything,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.”

The meaning of these verses is not yet fully clear to me but it is comforting to know that you and I share our Being as the one and only one blissful consciousness. So, if there is One and only One, then could there be any space for separation. Could this felt sense of separation be a mere illusion? I wonder.

Resource: The essence of Non-duality: https://rupertspira.com/

Only one race.

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You are not your body. Who you are has nothing to do with how you look.

You are not your mind, your thoughts, your feelings or your memories. All those things are aspects of you but they are not you. They change from moment to moment. Thoughts come and go. Feelings mould. Thousands of old cells are shed and replaced by new ones every second.

During my training to be a doctor, I had to dissect a human body. It was an enlightening experience. On my first day at medical school, it was a shock – the massive Anatomy hall reeking of Formalin, 12 metallic rectangular tables, each occupied by a horizontal human form covered with a white cotton sheet. 4 students in alphabetical order, to a table/ body. All different but more or less the same, students and bodies. Mine was a dark skinned, muscular young man in his thirties. I wondered how he had landed up on this table in the heart of Punjab when he clearly belonged somewhere else. I wondered what his story was.

As I carefully peeled the skin off, a pale yellow silky layer unraveled itself. I peeked at the next table and it was the same. And the next and the next. Men and women, old and young, squat and fit, brown and black. Whatever on the outside, were the same just underneath.

We laugh and cry the same salty tears, we feel the same love, we yawn and sneeze and hiccup and breath the same way. We all are distinct and yet, more or less the same. We are all made up of a substance called ‘love’. We carry the whole Universe inside of us.  We are bundles of boundless cosmic energy. Our bodies are vehicles for us to experience this Earth and for this fantastic energy to express itself. Let us not allow anyone to tell us how we should look, as their vision may be limited. Be fully expressed. Don’t let their limitation be yours. You are whole and complete, just the way you are, no matter what anyone says. Don’t let anyone let you love yourself any less than one thousand percent. Your love and compassion for yourself is the source of all joy for all humanity.

Just as black people are so much more than just black and homosexuals are so much more than just that. And Saagar was so much more than just a handsome brown young man. Underneath, we all are human. We have the privilege of coming from the most gorgeous star. Our numbers are higher than ever before and our potential as a race is the highest it has ever been. At a time when we need more cohesion between humans than ever before, we are building divisions all over the world – us and them. Be it the colour of our skin, our religious convictions, our gender, our choice of sexual partners or our private medical choices. We need bridges, not walls. We need to see ourselves in others and them in us – vulnerable, tough and unique at the same time. Everyone. Absolutely everyone.

I say to all you planning and scheming and dreaming, defending, proving, and justifying, laughing, crying, and feeling people, wanting love and understanding, offering love and understanding people:

 “You be me.  I be you.  They be us. We be them. All be one. Love be all. All be love. Only love. Get down on it.”

Lashings of Time.

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What do I say to the lone black eye-lash on my cheek?

I say bring me the colours of the rainbow

The pot of gold and all

Bring me the joys of the seasons,

Most of all, the fall.

The Autumn comes,

Once again

The yellows, auburns and ochres divine.

Hidden daggers behind their cloaks

They drop

When I open these arms of mine.

Its in their eyes

The fear of stabbings of memory

The tears of the sea.

Let it go.

Let it rest.

Let it be.

All that matters is here in me.

In the green apple and the oak tree.

I have and hold the world

that was, is and will be

in the blackness of my lashes

till eternity.

We are one my love. You and me.

I feared I would forget

I wrote it all down

I panicked I’d lost you

Never again to be found

But you are here

In every word, smile, tear.

I didn’t think I could bear it

But I did and I do.

This thorn has made a home in my heart.

I do not die.

I breathe through.

Its a great surprise

To rise

each day

To the umbrellas and shoes of life

As if nothing ever changed.

But all is new.

Me and you are sweethearts.

Inseparable.

One is the sand. The other, sea.

One is the hand. The other, lines of destiny.

Dear Beloved,

I place my pettiness at your feet.

The sense of separation,

The sad longing born of it,

The seeming disappointments,

Imperfections and regrets too,

I offer them all 

To you.

Let’s not … go back to ‘normal’.

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Toilet signs designed by young people at Orygen. Australia. (https://oyh.org.au/)

When I first came to the UK, I thought of myself as nothing more than a human being, a doctor, a mother. I came here with one suitcase full of books, inappropriate clothes and lots of dreams. Over the years, slowly, through events good and not-so-good, I was made aware that I was a ‘female doctor from ethnic minorities’. Others may see me thus but I still see myself as a human, a doctor, a mother.

Before our world was invaded by a microscopic organism, we were divided. Identity politics dominated all conversations. ‘Vegans’ wanted to convert me to their religion. ‘Vegetarianism’ just wasn’t good enough. Fingers were being pointed at seemingly evil ‘middle aged white men’, as if they were all the same. I found myself defending them in public as I am on the inside. I am married to one of the nicest of them. The ‘transgender’ community was making its presence felt in a big way. The BME and the LGBTQ++ and the sexists and the racists, the liberalists, the socialists, the nationalists and the list is endless … were firmly rooted in their fenced off, defensive little territories.

Then came the virus and we were all united in the knowledge that we were fragile creatures and we needed each other to survive. We needed to look after ourselves and each other, in ways that were more meaningful and different from before. We learnt that the mind needed as much attention if not more, than the body. We found out that we are related to everyone else on the planet whether we liked it or not. We needed to rise above our little ‘Me. Me. Me’ voices and make decisions in favour of what was good for everyone.

We found out that small things are big things. My lovely neighbour, M, left a bunch of flowers outside the door for me every week. I arranged those flowers the best I could and sent her the pictures. I wrote hand-written letters to friends from my childhood with whom I was starting to lose connection. I discovered the joy of sleeping for a few nights in a row without setting the alarm. Si and I discovered the joy of being in the house together for days, doing normal things – baking, gardening, meditation, going for a walk, reading, watching ‘The Crown’.

I say, let’s not go back to our ‘normal’ divisions and our frantic passions. Let’s take this opportunity to re-invent ourselves and the way we meet the world. Let’s not be driven by our fears and insecurities but by a sense of deep connection with ourselves, each other and the planet. Let’s take this new learning into the world we want to live in. It’s up to us.