Day 807

To talk about Saagar isn’t easy.
Yet to not share his story, impossible.
Hoping it helps somebody!

To miss him so much, it hurts
Unbearably.
Yet, to know he’s always with me.

To carry on living here,
in our house is tough.
To leave, unthinkable.

To look at his beautiful pictures,
Crushing!
Yet, life-sustaining.

To meditate,
Feeling one with the universe
Whole and complete.
Yet, a black void!

To smile,
knowing that’s what he would want.
And feel the eyes well up,
Involuntarily.

To feel,
utmost gratitude for all that he was, is, will be.
And never let him die.

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b088rynq/victoria-derbyshire-09012017
: 02:13 minutes and then a little more at about 03:15)

Day 806

search

Alan Turing was a lonely, awkward boy. His only friend in school died of tuberculosis in 1928. This awful event had a formative impact on the life of this young man who went on to become a brilliant mathematician and code breaker at Bletchley Park from 1939-45. Cracking the Enigma code significantly shortened World War 2 and potentially altered its outcome. He was the first man to indicate how thinking machines might be built. He later came to be known as the father of modern computing. He was one of the most influential men of his time and we owe our freedom to him. Steve Jobs wanted his company logo of the bitten apple to be associated with Turing’s love of apples.

An accomplished runner, he also had a great interest in the paranormal. And there is Turing the composer, responsible for some of the earliest computer music recorded by the BBC in Manchester. He is described as “shy, gay, witty, grumpy, courageous, unassuming and wildly successful genius”.

In 1952, he was arrested under a homophobic law for ‘gross indecency’. The chemical castration that Turing underwent thereafter was highly unjust and disgusting. Tens of thousands of less famous men were similarly prosecuted between 1885 and 1967.

He was found by his cleaner when she came in on 8 June 1954. He had died the day before of cyanide poisoning, a half-eaten apple beside his bed. His mother believed he had accidentally ingested cyanide from his fingers after an amateur chemistry experiment, but it is more credible that he had successfully contrived his death to allow her alone to believe this. The coroner’s verdict was suicide.

These countries still punish homosexual acts by death: Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Qatar, Iran, Somalia, Yemen, Sudan, Mauritania and UAE.

World gay rights map:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/world/gay-rights/

Day 805

imgres

A New Year’s Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!
Not be shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it as it comes;
Not be making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright,
Even in the shadows
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you
When people and their causes need you most,
And by making you anxious to be there to help.
God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you
For the year ahead.

-Anonymous.

 

Day 804

This time of the year is difficult for many families. Financial pressures, obligatory socialising with people whose affections may not be entirely genuine, a perceived time for evaluating various aspects of one’s life, overindulgence, having to revert back to traditional gender roles, the need for things to be just so…

Many women fear the festive period. Not a year goes by when there isn’t a seasonal rise in incidents of domestic violence reported to the police. Humberside Police Force reports that calls rose from 38% in the rest of the year to 54% in December 2015.

“For too many children across Ireland, being home at Christmas, is not a place of safety, warmth and happiness. It’s a place of fear, loneliness, pain and neglect,” said the ISPCC (Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children). On Christmas day more than 1000 calls were received by their 60 strong staff on Childline service from children reporting distress due to domestic violence and/or alcohol abuse.

Pangs of loneliness are more acutely felt by the elderly and floating populace at this time of the year. Age UK works steadily on reducing loneliness in the elderly, 1.2 million of whom suffer from it on a chronic basis. Their objective is : ‘No one should have no one on Christmas’.

For those of us who have recently lost a dear one, their physical absence is more visibly, painfully and deeply felt than other times. That one less present, that one less seat on the dinner table, that one less name on the card, that one less beaming smile, that one less hug …

Ref: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/welfare/2015/12/it-s-hardest-time-year-why-domestic-violence-spikes-over-christmas

https://www.rt.com/news/371953-child-abuse-helpline-ireland/

Day 803

She is in her early forties – single, tall, professional, gorgeous, glamorous, fun party girl who takes multiple multivitamins and visits the gym regularly. Every fortnight she has a new love story for me. Each of them has an exciting beginning, holding great promise. But somewhere in the heat of text messages sent too early or too late, certain feelings expressed or not, wrong emoji used, misinterpretations, unmet expectations, awkward silences and undisclosed relevant facts, the story evaporates. The deeper delicate shimmering layers of her persona lie concealed beneath her outer veneers. Not many get to witness the pure, fragile vulnerability within, hidden like a pearl.

Below is a humorous but painfully true, already outdated summary of some modern relationships that I chanced upon on social media:

“Dating in 2016

Let’s be friends, just friends, I’m not ready for a relationship but I expect you to do things with me considered inappropriate in terms of a friendship. We’re not together, you can’t claim me, you can’t be with anyone but me. I need you to be loyal but I’ll do what I want and when you get mad, I’ll just tell you we’re not together. If you catch feelings, I’ll become distant. You knew what this was…I told you, I’m not ready for a relationship.”