Day 578

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This is the question : How can we Re-create Psychiatry?

How can we break down the“us” versus “them” approach?

How can we stop ourselves from putting people into neat little labelled boxes rather than perceiving each one as a unique individual with their own unique story and experience?

How can we communicate in a way where we respect boundaries but do not create barriers? How can we truly listen in a way that we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoes?

There is a hierarchy in knowledge. Intellectual knowledge is considered superior to emotional or experiential knowledge, which in turn is rated higher than seemingly irrational knowledge, which could come from ‘patients’ with seemingly little insight. Who makes these decisions? How come the power balance between psychiatrists(intellectual/clinical) and patients(experiential/seemingly irrational) is so extremely warped? Does looking at people through templates give us any idea of who they truly are?

The Open Dialogue approach is a philosophical/theoretical approach to people experiencing a mental health crisis and their families/networks, and a system of care, developed in Western Lapland in Finland over the last 25-30 years. In the 1980s psychiatric services in Western Lapland were in a poor state, in fact they had one of the worst incidences of ‘schizophrenia’ in Europe. Now they have the best documented outcomes in the Western World. For example, around 75% of those experiencing psychosis have returned to work or study within 2 years and only around 20% are still taking antipsychotic medication.

Working with families and social networks, as much as possible in their own homes, Open Dialogue teams work to help those involved in a crisis situation to be together and to engage in dialogue. It has been their experience that if the family/team can bear the extreme emotion in a crisis situation, and tolerate the uncertainty, in time shared meaning usually emerges and healing is possible.

This Open Dialogue training launches in London next month.

 

Day 575

‘Everyone’s better than me’
‘I’ll never be good at anything’
‘I’m not as clever as my friends’
‘I’m fat’
‘I’m ugly’
‘I’m hideous’
‘Everyone hates me’
‘Other people at school tell me to die’

Lack of self-worth is driving increasing numbers of young people to thoughts of suicide, according to national charity PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide. Young people need to be taught that good relationships with others start with their own self-care. PAPYRUS is calling for more general mental wellbeing sessions in schools and awareness by society in general, to help young people begin to build a positive self-relationship. As well as the basics – getting enough sleep and rest, fresh air and exercise, eating well – we need to teach young people how to deal with negative put-downs.

Contacts made with HOPELineUK helpline services last month increased by 130% over April last year. Lack of self-worth is now a dominant theme and increasing numbers of much younger callers (around 11 plus) say they are not good enough.

“We must all watch out for invitations from young people that say ‘I need help: please ask me how I am feeling’,” urges Ged Flynn, CEO of Papyrus. “Talking about suicide is not easy, but society needs to toughen up. Young suicide is everyone’s business. Talking about it does not make it more likely happen – and it can save young lives.”

Day 571

Two things tend to greatly suffer in mental illness- creativity and human relationships. Sarah Wheeler believed this as she lived with Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression. She set out to create a space that was open-hearted, connecting, non-judgemental, creative and safe – The Dragon Cafe on Borough High Street in London. And it is exactly that – a little bit of heaven for those who’ve been in hell.

Sarah set up “Mental Fight club”. It’s mission is to put on imaginative events for people of all mental health experiences. Every event seeks to connect our inner and outer world and ourselves to one another, whoever we may be. It is no wonder that I intended to be there only for a couple of hours but ended up spending more than double that time, feeling totally relaxed and quite happy.

All visitors are called patrons. Each one is important. You don’t have to do anything. You may do some art, read poetry, dance, sit around and chat, drink tea, have some heavily subsidized, freshly cooked vegetarian food or have a nap on a bean-bag in the Quiet Room.
I will definitely be back there next Monday.

From our conversations it was clear that it is the focal point of many lives. It gives them hope, some thing to look forward to and a strong sense of acceptance and belonging. These are basic human needs that are so often unfulfilled.

Maybe mental illness is not a disease of the brain, but that of society.

This poem by Ben Okri is one of Sarah’s inspirations:

An illusion by which we can become
More real.
A moment unremarked by the Universe,
By nature, the seasons or stars.
Moment we have marked out
In timelessness.
Human moment.
Making a ritual, a drama, a tear
On eternity.
Domesticating the infinite.
Contemplating the quantum questions,
Time, death, new beginnings,
Regenerations, cycles, the unknown.

Day 559

f47a390c-0931-420a-bf0b-77dce0414f9cTwo A4 sheets were written out over the last 6 days. Each covered one thing that I need to forgive myself for. Next, I was to take them to the nearest natural water body, burn them and put the ashes in the water. The lake has receded far from the high land exposing large meadows that are normally green but now sandy brown. The summer has arrived early this year and it is hot. There has been no rain here for 7 months. The temperature this morning was 38 degrees centigrade.

We equipped ourselves with walking sticks, water bottles, head-scarves, hats and sunglasses. We covered up in sun-screen, light cotton full-sleeved tops and linen trousers and set off after breakfast. The jagged walk down a steep slope ended at the tree-line which marks the water level at its highest. Here we were met by a carcass of what appeared to be a large cow. We marked it as a landmark and identified the maxilla, the ethmoid sinuses, some vertebrae and ribs and turned left to walk between the forest and the water towards the rocky beach where the water is accessible.

The sun beat mercilessly down upon us. The heat was palpable. I walked with my head bent, looking at random rocks, piles of cow dung, broken bits of coloured plastic flip-flops, some wild vegetation and dying drying grass. As I looked up I saw black and yellow butterflies dancing about in the green crevices between rocks hidden from the cruelty of the sun. All this time my mind was full of question marks. Why am I doing this? It doesn’t make any sense. It is all so silly. In this heat!

We got there after about 45 minutes. On the tenth attempt the papers finally won over the blowing wind and caught the flame from the burning match-stick. The ashes elegantly fell into the lake and so did the last little white triangle that dropped from my hand. I sat there looking at them till they slowly disappeared.

It felt like a pilgrimage. I am here for a reason.
I am here to set myself free.

Day 556

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NLP stands for Neuro-linguistic Programming. The creators of NLP (Bandler and Grinder) claim a connection between the neurological processes (neuro-), language (linguistic) and behavioral patterns learned through experience (programming), and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life.

Just before coming away on this holiday, I met a very kind and highly experienced NLP practitioner. He helped me identify that at least half of the suffering caused by Saagar’s death is directly related to the guilt I feel. We set a goal for this break – Forgiveness.

Oxford English Dictionary defines Forgiveness as: “to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt.” It is not an “agreement with” or an “approval of” whatever happened but an acknowledgement followed by learning.

Forgiveness is the energetic act of bringing oneself back into the Living Moment.

Starting today and for the next few days, I shall write down one specific thing I forgive myself for, on a piece of paper. I shall then burn that paper and throw the ashes in the lake.
It’s time.