Day 925

Vulnerability. Not weakness.

Stories are data with a soul. Researcher and storyteller Brene’ Brown has taken the time to take a deep hard look at shame and vulnerability.

She believes that ‘connection’ is neurobiologically why we are here.

Shame is fear of disconnection or not feeling like you are worthy of connection. For example, not good enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not rich enough and so on. All experiences of excruciating vulnerability.

After 6 years of researching ‘Shame’ she took a closer at a sub-group of individuals with ‘Worthiness’, people with a strong sense of love and belonging who believe they are worthy of love and belonging. She called them ‘Wholehearted’. This group had a few remarkable traits:

Courage – to be imperfect
Compassion – ability to be kind to themselves and others
Connection – ability to give up the idea of perfection

They fully embraced their vulnerability. They believed that vulnerability makes them beautiful. They were willing to reach out their hand first, to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. It was not comfortable but they did it anyway.
Vulnerability is also the birthplace of tenderness, belonging, love and joy.

What makes us vulnerable?
The simplest things like asking for help, waiting for the doc to call back, initiating sex, loosing a job, asking someone out on a date and many more.

Why do we struggle with vulnerability?
The uncertainty is too uncomfortable. So we numb it.

At present, we are most highly addicted, medicated and obese populace ever.
We can’t selectively numb feelings.
When we numb vulnerability we also numb joy and connection.

The ways in which we deal with our discomfort with vulnerability are:

We make everything uncertain, certain, eg- religion.
We Blame- a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
We Perfect – most dangerously our children.
We pretend – like what we are doing doesn’t have an effect on people.

We need to let ourselves be seen.
To love with our whole hearts even if we are unsure.
To practice Gratitude despite the uncertainty because our vulnerability means we are alive.
Lean into joy and believe – I am enough.
That enables us to be kinder and gentler to the people around us and to ourselves.

Ref:

Book :
Daring Greatly by Dr Brene Browm
TED talk by Dr Brene Brown on Power of Vulnerability:

Day 922

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Me and Mine

Where dost thou seek Me?

Lo! I am beside thee.
I am neither in temple nor in mosque
I am neither in Kaaba nor in Kailash.
Neither am I in rites and ceremonies,
nor in Yoga and renunciation.

If thou art a true seeker, thou shalt at
once see Me : thou shalt meet Me
For the priest, the warrior, the trades- man,
and all the thirty-six castes alike are seeking for God.
Hindus and Moslems alike have achieved that End, where remains no mark of distinction.

O friend! Hope for Him whilst you live, know whilst you live,
understand whilst you live, for in life deliverance abides.
If your bonds be not broken whilst living, what hope of deliverance in death ?

It is but an empty dream, that the soul shall have union with Him
because it has passed from the body
If He is found now, He is found then,
If not, we do but go to dwell in the City of Death.

If you have union now, you shall have it hereafter.
Bathe in the truth, know the true Guru, have faith in the true Name!
It is the Spirit of the quest which helps ; I am the slave of this Spirit of the quest.”

Do not go to the garden of flowers.
O Friend! go not there.
In your body is the garden of flowers.
Take your seat on the thousand petals of the lotus, and there gaze on the Infinite Beauty.

TELL me, Brother, how can I renounce Maya?
When I gave up the tying of ribbons,
still I tied my garment about me
When I gave up tying my garment,
still I covered my body in its folds.
So, when I give up passion, I see that
anger remains ; And when I renounce anger, greed is
with me still ; And when greed is vanquished, pride
and vain glory remain; When the mind is detached and casts Maya away, still it clings to the letter.

THE moon shines in my body, but my
blind eyes cannot see it.
The moon is within me, and so is the
sun. The unstruck drum of Eternity is
sounded within me, but my deaf
ears cannot hear it.
So long as man clamours for the me
and the Mine, his works are as naught.

When all love of the me and the Mine
is dead, then the work of the Lord
is done. For work has no other aim than the
getting of knowledge.

When that comes, then work is put
away.

–Saint Kabir

Day 916

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Twenty again?

At my age it’s hard to remember what life was like when I was twenty. I was in medical school, forming strong friendships, working hard, playing harder and worrying about exam results. The last one made me swear that I would never ever take an exam again after finishing medical school but like many others, this resolve too, dissolved.

The upside – one can drink, have sex, travel, dip into the bank of mum and dad, live at home and be a kid when it suits and be an adult when it suits. The insecurities – Am I the person I want to be? Will I be able to establish my place in the world? What will become of me? Will I make my parents proud? Will I achieve ‘success’? How many years will it take? Will I meet Mr Right and will he continue to be Mr Right for a long time?

The biggest advantage of passing years is the gradual evaporation of all these concerns, the ability to follow one’s dreams with lightness and self-belief, to be able to laugh at oneself and not take life too seriously.

Would I like to be twenty again? Nope.
What would I tell my twenty-year old self? Relax.
Things have a way of working out.

What would you tell your twenty-year old self?

Ref:

http://trendom.co/struggles-of-being-20-years-old/

Day 908

Posted by kidsaregifts20

This is like really hard to like think of like what to write. Some days like I suppose are like that. It’s like totally crazy. Sometimes I wish I was like doing a juice cleanse or doing like some other hippie stuff, like eating kale chips or listening to like Hare Krishna music on a vinyl.

I could like go to Starbucks to get like some inspiration but like I am so upset because like the supermarket ran out of avocados and like my nail lady didn’t have turquoise polish. The coffee at Starbucks is like fake and they like don’t pay tax. So, that’s like totally bad for the whales. I, like don’t want to be like a part of this whole corporate thing.

My therapist has been like super-useful in helping me like think about important things like this. I have decided to become like a pesce-pescetarian. I will only eat fish like that eat other fish. That’s like Buddhism or something. I think that’ll be like good for the planet.

Maybe I could like travel to like help poor people in Papua New Guinea. I don’t think like, they know much about coffee like or Mocha Frappuccino. I could maybe like be useful?

Day 895

Posted by kidsaregifts20

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Emma Lazarus wrote this sonnet in 1883 in America to raise funds for the construction of the pedestal on which stands the Statue of Liberty.

The glorious aspiration set out in this poem seems to have been well forgotten and contorted over the years.

It appears as though humanity sits at the verge of self destruction. We refuse to learn lessons from history. All too familiar ugly realities of the past repeat themselves -demonising of a particular religious group resulting in seemingly justified atrocities against humanity, wars in the name of peace and liberty, a conviction of weapons of mass destruction/chemical weapons proven wrong, rightful nuclear assault of another country, false news and propaganda, massive unplanned military operations used as knee-jerk reactions to events in order to overthrow tyrannous regimes, complete lack of meaningful dialogue and statesmanship.

The awfulness of it!