Day 809

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Recently I came face to face with my own subconscious biases. They came as a surprise but were interesting to watch once I became aware of them. I was faced with a series of people who were to be evaluated as objectively as possible by a colleague and I. They walked into the room and talked to us one by one. Some men, some women, some from abroad, some very well dressed, some with an accent, some with facial hair, some suave, some with a lot of hand movements, some hiding their nerves behind an overconfident exterior…

We made evaluations and discussed the interviewees. It was apparent that those who presented themselves well and appeared relaxed made a good impression. We reminded ourselves that even if someone spoke well, our focus must be on the content rather than the delivery. We picked up on body language clues like a mild trembling of the fingers and periodic clearing of the throat.

Couldn’t help thinking back. Saagar spoke well. He had an endearing and calm demeanor. He was clever. He was also a good mimic and actor. He could have easily made his assessors believe whatever he wanted them to, unless they were aware of their own biases and could read his non-verbal language – things that come with years of practice and experience!

Day 808

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Yesterday our Prime Minister put Mental health at the top of the national agenda. Great to have these focussed conversations in prominent places with special emphasis on schools and work places being equipped to intervene early for children and young people with difficulties. These announcements are welcome but are also met with a slow applause as this government does not have a great track record with the NHS.

Relevant tweets:

“Schools will be linked to local NHS #mentalhealth services to support early intervention for Children and Young People” in PM speech.

“You can make the promises, but you need the workforce to deliver them.”

“Biggest challenge PM faces -getting funding to the front line. Services over-pressed, under-staffed + facing even more demands.” – President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists.

In my opinion, as long as we stick strictly to the medical model of mental illness we will never get it right as it does not put enough emphasis on prevention. We need to start with educating young parents about the family, environmental, individual and social factors that contribute to the mental well being of a child.

Thereafter the schools need to be aware that if a child is happy, he or she is more likely to perform well. Hence putting them under academic pressure can be counterproductive. Bullying policies must be strictly implemented. Kids must be allowed to fail sometimes. There is grace and learning in defeat.

By no means do I claim to have all the answers but this would be a good start. Prevention is better than cure.

Day 807

Posted by kidsaregifts20

To talk about Saagar isn’t easy.
Yet to not share his story, impossible.
Hoping it helps somebody!

To miss him so much, it hurts
Unbearably.
Yet, to know he’s always with me.

To carry on living here,
in our house is tough.
To leave, unthinkable.

To look at his beautiful pictures,
Crushing!
Yet, life-sustaining.

To meditate,
Feeling one with the universe
Whole and complete.
Yet, a black void!

To smile,
knowing that’s what he would want.
And feel the eyes well up,
Involuntarily.

To feel,
utmost gratitude for all that he was, is, will be.
And never let him die.

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b088rynq/victoria-derbyshire-09012017
: 02:13 minutes and then a little more at about 03:15)

Day 806

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Alan Turing was a lonely, awkward boy. His only friend in school died of tuberculosis in 1928. This awful event had a formative impact on the life of this young man who went on to become a brilliant mathematician and code breaker at Bletchley Park from 1939-45. Cracking the Enigma code significantly shortened World War 2 and potentially altered its outcome. He was the first man to indicate how thinking machines might be built. He later came to be known as the father of modern computing. He was one of the most influential men of his time and we owe our freedom to him. Steve Jobs wanted his company logo of the bitten apple to be associated with Turing’s love of apples.

An accomplished runner, he also had a great interest in the paranormal. And there is Turing the composer, responsible for some of the earliest computer music recorded by the BBC in Manchester. He is described as “shy, gay, witty, grumpy, courageous, unassuming and wildly successful genius”.

In 1952, he was arrested under a homophobic law for ‘gross indecency’. The chemical castration that Turing underwent thereafter was highly unjust and disgusting. Tens of thousands of less famous men were similarly prosecuted between 1885 and 1967.

He was found by his cleaner when she came in on 8 June 1954. He had died the day before of cyanide poisoning, a half-eaten apple beside his bed. His mother believed he had accidentally ingested cyanide from his fingers after an amateur chemistry experiment, but it is more credible that he had successfully contrived his death to allow her alone to believe this. The coroner’s verdict was suicide.

These countries still punish homosexual acts by death: Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Qatar, Iran, Somalia, Yemen, Sudan, Mauritania and UAE.

World gay rights map:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/world/gay-rights/

Day 804

Posted by kidsaregifts20

This time of the year is difficult for many families. Financial pressures, obligatory socialising with people whose affections may not be entirely genuine, a perceived time for evaluating various aspects of one’s life, overindulgence, having to revert back to traditional gender roles, the need for things to be just so…

Many women fear the festive period. Not a year goes by when there isn’t a seasonal rise in incidents of domestic violence reported to the police. Humberside Police Force reports that calls rose from 38% in the rest of the year to 54% in December 2015.

“For too many children across Ireland, being home at Christmas, is not a place of safety, warmth and happiness. It’s a place of fear, loneliness, pain and neglect,” said the ISPCC (Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children). On Christmas day more than 1000 calls were received by their 60 strong staff on Childline service from children reporting distress due to domestic violence and/or alcohol abuse.

Pangs of loneliness are more acutely felt by the elderly and floating populace at this time of the year. Age UK works steadily on reducing loneliness in the elderly, 1.2 million of whom suffer from it on a chronic basis. Their objective is : ‘No one should have no one on Christmas’.

For those of us who have recently lost a dear one, their physical absence is more visibly, painfully and deeply felt than other times. That one less present, that one less seat on the dinner table, that one less name on the card, that one less beaming smile, that one less hug …

Ref: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/welfare/2015/12/it-s-hardest-time-year-why-domestic-violence-spikes-over-christmas

https://www.rt.com/news/371953-child-abuse-helpline-ireland/