Mental Illness

Day 615

Posted by

0

He didn’t complain.

Looking back, so many things happened but he did not complain. He managed. He smiled. He coped.

He could sense the slightest worry in my voice. When I spoke on the phone with a family member or friend he would ask me the reason for any phrase with an exclamation mark. He was very sensitive and he felt not only his own but other people’s pain deeply too.

When he was in primary school I found out about the bullying long after it had started. I discovered it accidentally when he mentioned his friend A, who always stood up for him when the others were being mean to him. When I spoke to his teacher about it she completely denied any knowledge of such goings on. That also meant that she would not do anything to stop it because it did not exist. It was a battle. When I would be visibly upset over anything, he would say, “Mamma, let it be.”

He didn’t complain.

Looking back, so many things happened but he did not complain. He managed. He smiled. He coped. For as long as he could.

Day 614

Posted by

1

e92627b2-db1d-493c-9f9d-14781b423904-1

Seventeen years ago I packed a suitcase and flew from New Delhi to Belfast with 200 pounds and a job contract in my pocket. I didn’t have even one acquaintance in Belfast but I had fire in my belly. I wanted to study further, be better at my job and create a brighter future for my family.

Although my colleagues were very friendly I did not have any friends for a while. What kept me going was keeping a gratitude journal. Every evening I wrote down 5 things I was grateful for and went to bed smiling even though I missed my family a lot. I have misplaced those journals but I hope I will find them and read them again.

I found one random entry dated 1st Jan 2001 –

“Another year.
Another slot in the Time Machine.
Another measure of nothing.
Another invisible milestone.
On the road to an unknown destination.

Time and Ego are brothers. The latter being completely identified with the former – held upright by it’s past, it thinks it is ‘so and so’in the present and will be even more ‘so and so’ in the future.”

This blog is a journal of sorts. It helps me a great deal.
Today’s entry would be:

– Thank you for the gorgeous summer solstice, a full day of sunshine and the full moon.

– Thank you for my third Mental Health First Aid course with 14 participants. (Bringing the total to 37)

– Thank you for Saagar and the strength and purity of his love.

– Thank you for Si and his tender loving care.

– Thank you for this mind, body and spirit.

Thank you!

Day 612

Posted by

0

Edward was 18. He had recently been offered a place at Cambridge University following 12 A*s at GCSE and 100% scores at AS level. He also excelled at playing the piano. He was a popular and friendly young man who now has the heartbreaking legacy of having played all of the music at his own funeral. He ended his own life in February 2015 following the unexplained, rapid and catastrophic onset of depressive illness.

He sounds so much like Saagar. His father, Steve Mallen strongly believes Edward was let down by the health services, just like Saagar was.

“Sometimes they call depression the curse of the strong. In other words the stronger, more resilient, more intelligent and more capable you are, the better you are able to conceal the difficulties you might be experiencing,” said Mr Mallen.

He has set up a The MindEd Trust with this mission statement:

“We mind what happened to Edward Mallen and we will do all we can to avert similar tragedies through the prevention and alleviation of mental ill-health amongst young people.”

Speaking to a friend in Bristol it emerged that CAMHS there now refuses to see youngsters who have attempted suicide. The charity Mind says on its website that the types of problems CAMHS is meant to help with include violent or angry behaviour, depression, eating difficulties, low self-esteem, anxiety, obsessions or compulsions, sleep problems, self-harming and the effects of abuse or traumatic events. CAMHS can also diagnose and treat serious mental health problems such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

How have we come to this? In the light of the fact that the incidence of mental health problems in the young is on the rise, does the graph below on expenditure (in billions) on mental health services offer an explanation?

expenditure-on-mental-health

 

 

 

Day 608

Posted by

0

We live in an age of sleep deprivation. In the 1950s, most people got on an average 8 hours of sleep every night but now it is reduced by at least an hour and a half. Teenagers need 9 hours but they often get only about 5 on a school night.

Sleep is restorative. It helps with conservation and regeneration of energy. It also helps with basic brain processes such as memory, creativity, problem-solving and learning. Shortage of sleep and poor quality of sleep is deeply damaging, as in shift workers. Not only does it have subtle effects on one’s personality, it also increases the risk of road and other accidents due to micro-sleeps in the day and increased impulsiveness.

“You always get sleep disruption in people with mental illness. That’s because they don’t have jobs, so they go to bed late and get up late” remarked a psychiatrist. This led Dr Russell Foster into the study of relationships between sleep and mental illness. His team at Oxford found that in patients with schizophrenia, regardless of antipsychotic treatment, sleep patterns were not just disrupted but totally smashed. Bipolar and Seasonal affective disorders and depression also involve bad sleep as do dementia, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

Sleep disruption is being studied as a biomarker of potential mental health problems and it offers the possibility of early intervention.

Researchers at Oxford have found that if sleep can be partially stabilized using CBT in patients with schizophrenia, levels of delusional paranoia can be reduced by 50%. It is possible that consistent improvement in sleep patterns may delay the onset of certain conditions by knocking the brain into a different developmental trajectory.

“Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”

 

 

Day 607

Posted by

0

Wonder what it’s like to be 18 or 19.
To have a decent upbringing and great friends.
To have a sharp mind and many talents.

To find out life is complicated.
To learn relationships are difficult.
To know jobs are hard to find.
To have faith you can cope. To have hope.

To be ruled by an un-understandable mind.
To have no tools to dissect the goings-on within.
To hold a fascinating companion and a deadly enemy inside.
To be able to handle them both tactfully.
To have no way of showing them to others.
To not know how much of you is you and how much is them.

To believe you can conquer these beasts.
To hope you can make them beautiful.
To see them as extensions of yourself.
To watch them distort your moods and thoughts.
To love life one minute and abhor it the next.
To watch the clouds of confusion slowly shutting out the light.

To resort to silence as time goes by.
To watch your friends move ‘ahead’.
To feel left behind, small and inadequate.
To have to contend with the inaccessibility of Life.
To loose faith in medicines and trust in medics.
To be utterly lost.

Wonder what it’s like to be that 20 year old.