London calling.

I applied for the London job only because I was sure I wouldn’t get it. In 2006, I had finished seven years of post-graduate training in Northern Ireland and it was time to look for a Consultant post. There weren’t any openings locally so I looked at vacancies on the ‘mainland’. If nothing else, it would be an opportunity to practice my interview skills. Halfheartedly, I applied for a job in London and kept absolutely mum about it. When I was short-listed, I was a bit miffed as my only free weekend that month would be spent preparing for an interview the outcome of which I didn’t really care for. But I didn’t want to look like a complete fool so I did prepare.

I also went shopping for a black pencil skirt with a smart white and black jacket. Why not? I already had a nice white top and black shoes to match.
“Will we have to move to London?” Saagar asked. He was 12.
‘I don’t think so. Unlikely. Let’s see.’

Early one Wednesday morning I checked into my flight at the then brand new Belfast City Airport. As I was saying bye to Saagar’s father, I asked him, “What shall I do if they offer me the job?”
Take it, he said.
The Big Ben spooked me as it peered through the window of the office where I was waiting for my turn. What am I doing here? The panel seemed friendly. I felt relaxed and shared my thoughts freely, to the point of being quite blunt about the unrefined appraisal process and such like.
Why did you apply for this job? They asked.
I had been looking at your job adverts for a while and finally they stopped asking for ‘a female doctor from ethnic minorities’. That’s when I applied.
Why do you think you are right for this job?
Because I have trained twice for it – once in India and then in Belfast.

I found myself smiling as I left the room. I had enjoyed the conversation but there was no reason for them to offer me a job. I was sure London had its own candidates, like Northern Ireland had its own.

That afternoon, I was waiting for my return flight at Heathrow when the phone rang. I flipped the silver Vodaphone open.
“Hello. Is that Dr Mahajan?”
‘Yes. Hello.’
“I am Dr Cunningham from St Thomas’. We met at the interview this morning.”
‘Oh yes. How are you?’
“I am well. I am ringing to offer you the position of a Consultant Anaesthetist at our Trust.”
‘Oh. Are you sure you have the correct number?’
“Ha. Ha. Yes. I am.”
‘Right. Wow. Thank you.’
“Would you be willing to accept the post?”
‘Yes. Thank you.’
“Great. The HR department will soon be in touch with you. Good luck.”
‘Thank you. Bye.’

I said yes only because I couldn’t say no. My ego was on an all time high. Of all the people in the world, one of the most prestigious teaching hospitals in London wanted me. Why in the world would I ever say no?

When I shared this exciting news with a senior colleague in Belfast, he said, “So, from being a rich doctor in Belfast you will be a poor nobody in London?” Another said, “Oh! We might find you swanning around the Royal College in a saree?” I smiled. May be this was a lucky escape.

Working in London was one thing but living in that city was quite another.
On our first day we parked our car in front of our rental flat. While we were waiting for our truck to arrive with our household stuff, we kept an eye on the car, expecting it to be stolen within minutes. When we came down to the car an hour later, an orange plastic envelope was stuck to the front wind-shield. It was a parking ticket. A big lady in uniform stood there with her hands on her hips, “Yo’ front wheels’ half on top’o da pavement. I don’t make the rules. Innit?”
Welcome to London!

From a detached three bed-room house in a friendly, modern development to a random three bedroom flat on a random Chestnut road. From having a front and back garden, a driveway and a double garage to no gardens and parking on the street. From a safe and quiet neighbourhood of friends and acquaintances, to a nameless road-side flat in one of the fastest metropolis, with no friends or family. Once again we were going to make a start with ‘just us’.

Resource: At present, more people than ever live in a country other than the one where they were born.

Evidence for suicide prevention strategies with populations in displacement: a systematic review

Day 741

“If you believe you’re a citizen of the world,” said our dear Prime Minister on the 5th October at the Conservative party’s conference, “you’re a citizen of nowhere. You don’t understand what the very word ‘citizenship’ means.”

That statement is a huge disappointment. I don’t agree.

What does the word citizenship mean?

It is variously defined as the position or status of an individual viewed as a member of a society and their behaviour in terms of duties, obligations and rights of a citizen and a person recognised under the custom or law as being a legal member of a sovereign state.

 For me, citizenship is a sense of belonging. While I hold a British passport, I don’t feel that the first 3 decades of my life that I spent in India count for nothing. I may not officially be a ‘citizen’ of India but I have an affinity and love for that land which far outweighs any official document. When I visited Uganda a few years ago, I felt like I belonged there. I felt a strong connection with the people and the earth. It felt like home.

 People who see themselves as citizens of the world feel part of a rich boundless tapestry rather than an isolated, discreet nation or group. They know, deep down, that a smaller vision of citizenship creates “us” and “them”.

 Perhaps world citizenship is a stance against people like the PM who manipulate the “us” and “them” to demonise the enemy of the day and thereby justify heinous acts of brutality. The unfounded suspicion of the “other” justifies total lack of respect. The difference in appearance is made out to be sufficient ground for fear and disgust.

The world is smaller than ever before. We all belong to one large family. Borders are man-made. All we need is love and respect. We all suffer hunger and pain in the same way. Our loss and anger is the same. Our blood is red, irrespective of the country we belong to. Enough blood has already been shed in the name of pettiness of one kind or another. Let us not buy into this small mindedness. Let us be proud citizens of the world.

Day 728

A landscape of musical notes emanated from four musical instruments inspired by movement of people across the globe in search of a land of gold. When I closed my eyes, I could feel the magical textures at my fingertips and sense the turbulent river flowing and a lone vessel struggling to carry a tonne of isolation and desperation across to a place of hope. Vibrant colours could be heard and pathos felt in the core of my heart and every pore on my skin. The conversations and unison between those colours filled the space with absolute empathy for those forced to leave their homes, a cry against injustice of the refugee crisis. Crossing the Rubicon….dissolving boundaries…reunion…last chance…a boat to nowhere…

Land of Gold – an ode to those displaced.

Find the kind heart,
Rest your feet and soul.
May your kind heart
Find the land of gold.
Pay attention, say your name
Listen closely and keep warm.
Gentle hands, you are brave,
Look at me and carry on.
All is good, I love you.
You can hear me, you can call.
Sing your song with ease and pride.
I’ll be there, not far behind.
Tell them I walked
Tell them I walked your way
Tell them I walked
Tell them I walked your way

– By Anoushka Shankar

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MO1Ziql48w)