the now

Day 443

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Lately it’s been all about “Happy New Year!”

Lots of happy and unhappy people have been wishing ‘happiness’ to other happy and unhappy people. It is the perpetual pursuit, the ultimate blessing, the prime and often illusive objective, the much misunderstood ‘emotion’, the birth right of every being.

Numerous books have been written on the subject. Many enlightened souls have claimed knowledge of the secret short-cut to this popular and seemingly distant destination.

What is this thing? What does it look like? Where should I start the search for it? How do I go about it? Even if I find it, how long do I get to keep it? Is it possible to hold on to it for as long as I like? Can someone else give it to me? Will someone take it away again? Could I be forced to give it up? Once lost, is it retrievable? Is it always the same or does it change? Is it gradable – mild, moderate, severe?

It is different things for different people I guess. For me it means being in an unruffled and unrufflable state. Being ok within myself. Being in a state of gratitude. Being in a state of abundance. Knowing that I am and will be well taken care of by Mother Nature. I am aware that when the judgemental section of my head decides to rule over my heart, I am heading towards an unhappy state. I am also aware that when I get caught up in the feelings of my near and dear ones and try to fix it for them, it is a recipe for disaster.

My happiness lies within me and is always available to me.
I just need to choose to access it more often. Every moment.
My wish for you is that you may choose to access your happiness that lies within you every moment of everyday.

 

Day 440

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As I sleep in my bed, some of the pain is left there, soaking my pillow.
Breeze carries traces of it away.
Water washes off some of it.
Sun burns bits off it.
Night sky calms and soothes it.
Hugs and kisses brush it off a little.
The words I write spill some drops of it on to the page.
My sighs disperse some of it in the air.
The tears sometimes wet my handkerchief with it.
At other times they hide behind my smiles and leave the pain strewn across rooms and crowds.
My mother’s fingers, lovingly running through my hair disseminate specks of it.

Does it ever lessen?

Yes. It lessens in the playfulness, that was Saagar.
It lessens in fun, jokes, laughter and music.
It lessens in the banter while playing Ludo or card games.
It lessens in lightness.
It also lessens in the awareness that it may never lessen.

Day 438

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Like the sand under my feet is always slipping no matter how still I stand, so is time.
The sand goes from cool to cold to warm to hot to soft to firm to hard to dry to wet like the seasons.
Water, air, birds, fish, sun, sound, landscape move constantly like life.

Children chomping on cubes of water-melon, dogs digging cool ditches, sand-pipers walking ultra-fast foraging for insects at the sea-shore, cows wandering aimlessly or standing like statues on the beach, sunbathing tourists ignoring the ultravioletness, people reading, jogging, walking, meditating, doing yoga and tai-chi, swimmers playing with the waves and bobbers being massaged by the water, families eating prawns and talking, kids building and breaking sand castles roaming naked in the sand, lovers canoodling and drawing hearts with arrows in the sand, umbrellas being uprooted by the breeze, an errant cow licking the side of a sleeping visitors face, many sitting gazing at the sun sparkling off the surface of the ocean … time has no meaning.

It is always now.
Moments are timeless.
Immeasurable.
Each one holding the universe within it.
Each one endless.

Day 435

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Gold, frankincense and myrrh – gifts fit for a king.

What exactly do they represent?
Is it the three levels of existence, the heavenly/spiritual, the material and the underworld? Or might they be representative of a distant echo as ancient as humans that understands that our lives are subject to three primal forces, those of creation, maintenance and destruction.

Frankincense symbolises the ethereal and spiritual aspects of our being. Gold represents the joys, preciousness and beauty of our earthly existence. Myrrh is a resin derived from a short thorny bush with medicinal properties that make it suitable for embalming bodies.

In belief systems that encapsulate these 3 forces there is an understanding and acceptance of the impermanence of everything. Nothing lasts but nothing is lost.

While standing at the sea-shore this evening, I watched the sun gracefully approaching the horizon under a canvas of pinks, purples and blues. Directly behind me the moon slowly emerged in all its splendor from behind the trees. The 2 perfect spheres exactly the same size! Whose design is this? I wonder.

Eid (the festival celebrating the birth of Prophet Mohammad) and Christmas, both are being celebrated today. Is the universe trying to tell us something? Are we going to ignore it again?

Well, I wish you a wonderful day wherever you are and whatever you are or aren’t celebrating. Here is something I heard today that made me smile. Saagar would have smiled too. Here it is …

“One fine day, in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and one couldn’t speak
So they called in a dummy for referee
A blind man came to see fair play
A mute man came to shout hooray.

A paralyzed donkey walking by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked them through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

If you don’t believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too.”

Day 434

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What if the end of Saagar’s life was ‘written’.
What if no matter what anyone did, the outcome would have been the same at the same time.
What if all the holes in the ‘swiss cheese’ lined up against him because it was his destiny. His fate.
What if all the planetary constellations arranged themselves in a way that was inviting to him.
What if I couldn’t help him because I am a mere human, incapable of changing the bigger plan.
What if my brother didn’t get his visa to travel to London to help us in time for the same reason.
What if all of this was predestined a long long time before I was even born.
What if this is exactly how it is meant to be.
What if this is a manifestation of ‘cause and effect’ that spans way beyond our miniscule life spans.
What if doctors said the same thing when people died of AIDS and cancers.
What if all of us just ‘accepted’ the present state of affairs.

If this is the case then what is the role of Free Will?
What if we can change destinies and futures.