After a 21 hour journey back home I am jet lagged and exhausted. Sitting down for dinner at a local French restaurant which my son and I frequently visited, I miss him. The Arabic being spoken in the aeroplane reminded me of him and the French menu here reminds me of him. This road, this roundabout, this shop, this bus-stand, this hair dressing studio, this house, these curtains that we put up together – everything! I am aware that everything is going to bring him back to my mind for the next few weeks or may be for much longer. I am going to miss him with lots and lots of love and gratitude. So much so that the latter two outweigh the pain of missing him. He is right here in my heart. I just have to close my eyes to see him.
I need to keep a smile on my face even if there is a tear in my eye, be happy despite the underlying sadness, make progress in small steps even though a part of me does not want to move, be in the present despite my mind taking me back again and again, be grateful for life and all its facets.
Witness, observe, breathe and be.
Knowing is good,
Living is better,
Being is perfect.