compassion

Day 613

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Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,

even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

–Max Ehrman

Day 592

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Today’s question at Re-create Psychiatry was: What is therapeutic?

Everyone’s reality is different. Their stories are diverse. People have many thousands of different types of experiences. So, a generic label eg. depression, has to be false. Are diagnoses a western construct, enabling us to put people into neat and tidy little boxes? ‘What is happening to you?’ is surely a more appropriate question as opposed to ‘What is wrong with you?’

Medics need to extend their frame of reference beyond medical to social and psychological dimensions. We need to have various ways of understanding illness, not limiting ourselves to the biochemical imbalance model. When we hold very tightly to one way of thinking, then conflict arises.

For some horticulture is therapeutic, for others homeopathy or acupuncture or meditation or yoga or art therapy or music. However modern allopathic medicine has rubbished all other ancient modalities of treatment. The fact that these practices still exist could imply their value through many generations. There is enough evidence in their favour but unfortunately they do have the influence of the pharmaceutical industry behind them.

‘Connectedness’ is definitely therapeutic. Modern medicine doesn’t have time for that. It is much quicker to print out a prescription but often that is not what the soul needs. The ‘evidence base’ for the needs of an ailing soul may be a little bit harder to gather than that for a broken arm.

 

Day 589

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Ruth was 47. She lived with Bipolar Disorder for 20 years. For all those years her mother looked after Ruth and volunteered for a Mental Health charity. The week after Ruth’s death, her mother rang the Charity with the bad news of her suicide. She didn’t receive as much as an e-mail of sympathy from them.

Saagar was under the care of our GP (General Physician/Family doctor). I didn’t hear anything from him after Saagar’s death. At the Coroner’s inquest the GP said that he had been advised against calling me by the Medical Defense Union (MDU). They claim to be ‘on your side’ and give ‘expert guidance and support’. It goes to show that on hearing of Saagar’s death the first phone call the GP made was to the MDU. The advise he got given was medico-legal in nature and that is what he was looking for. Interesting! Isn’t it?

I had the honour of meeting Ruth’s mum today. We could see so many similarities in Saagar and Ruth. Both adorable, affectionate, creative  and kind. I was her mirror and she mine. The bond we felt was very special. She let me try on Ruth’s sun-glasses. She thought they looked great on me and I do too. She let me have them. In that moment, I felt exactly how she must have felt – deep pain tinged with a tiny drop of relief; deep loss with a sense of peace. RIP Ruth.

Here’s a poem I found on the Order of Service for Ruth’s funeral:

Afterglow

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles
When life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways
Of happy times, bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
To dry before the sun.
Of happy memories that I leave when my life is done.

-By Helen Lowne Marshall

Day 585

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photo

The Dragon Café is starting to feel like second home. Every Monday morning I look forward to going there for a cup of tea (and homemade banana bread) after work, meeting interesting people and being introduced to new dimensions of mind, body and spirit. Now I know some of the names and faces. I am turning into a regular and people are getting to know me too. It feels great.

This afternoon I attended a very simple but smart chess workshop and an art display by a Child and Adolescent psychiatrist and some of his patients. He talked about one of his patients with Selective Mutism, Megan Winton (self portrait above) who could not speak at all outside of her home but now does public talks on her artwork. He discussed their creativity process, the positivity of art and wellbeing and the crossover between service users and providers.

I also met with a passionate artist from a group called ‘Mental Spaghetti’ that brings together marginalised groups of society and the general public to help reduce stigma, enable social interaction and to encourage artistic practice in people of all abilities. They are working on an exhibition titled ‘Cross Pollination’ with the aim of blurring the lines of ‘Us vs Them’ (ie. service providers vs service users).

All those years I spent stuck inside a hospital building seem like such a waste now. We all are the same humans, yet there is a such a wide gap between the social model and the medical model of illnesses. I am intrigued to step out of my little world and see all these imaginative, inclusive and heart felt ways of dealing with people.

I wonder if Saagar would have enjoyed any of these things. I think he would have been a stunning percussionist and a very funny mimic. I think he would have had fun if he would have got this far. Oh! There I go again…

 

 

 

 

 

Day 579

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header_Geel-by-Gary-Porter

Hospitals can sometimes be a problem rather than a solution.  They cannot provide the collaborative information sharing needed to care for today’s typical patients who may have multiple problems. This is especially true for the elderly and the mentally ill. Royal College of Physicians has proposed the concept of “hospital without walls” which aims at providing continuity of care for patients, coordinated and delivered by a single consultant-led clinical team. The hospital ceases to be “somewhere”. It becomes everywhere.

The little market town of Geel  in Belgium is well known for its early de-medicalisation of care of the mentally ill. For at least 7 centuries, it’s inhabitants have been taking the mentally ill or disabled into their homes as ‘guests’ or ‘boarders’. These are people who, whatever their diagnosis, have come here because they’re unable to cope on their own, and because they have no family or friends who can look after them. When they meet their new families there is no clinical diagnosis. During the Renaissance, Geel became famous as a place of sanctuary for the ‘mad’, who arrived and stayed for reasons both spiritual and opportunistic.

A boarder is treated as a member of the family, involved in everything and particularly encouraged to form a strong bond with the children, a relationship that is seen as beneficial to both parties. They call it ‘family care’, possibly the best form of therapy. Often the boarder lives with the family till they die, first as a child, then a sibling and later on as an uncle or aunt. Doesn’t that fulfil a basic human need of relatedness with other beings? The tradition still exists albeit to a limited extent due to faster paced city life, fewer farms and more double income families. However, the main reason for its longevity is not just tolerance, but pride. “Half of Geel is crazy, and the rest is half crazy,” runs a local joke.

Today, in London we aim to provide ‘Community Care’ in the absence of a community and no understanding of the word ‘care’. It’s obviously not working because the basic values on which it is based are wrong ie. cost saving.

We, the people need to educate ourselves, open our hearts and develop a deeper understanding of our human condition.

To kick off the Mental Health Awareness week, here are a couple of attempts on my part:

18 Months on…

Podcast from Croydon Radio