Day 563

Just one day left before we leave this peaceful place and head back home.

The mind is already ahead of itself, on the commuter train in London, juggling time and tasks, falling short of sleep, getting stuck in the things one has to do as opposed to things one wants to do and so on and so forth…

Every now and then it has to be brought back into the ‘now’, soaking up every moment.

At present, it is 30 degrees centigrade outside, birds are chirping, lemongrass tea is waiting to cool down, I am writing at leisure. I am breathing and all is well. I need to place more faith in life and in myself. I need to know that everything is within reach and within means. Including Saagar. His energy is still here. I feel it. It energises me. It brings a smile to my face. It helps me find ways to nourish others and myself. It brings forth all the love in my heart and allows it to flow. Nothing else matters.

Every morning at school assembly, the day used to start with these Sanskrit verses:

Om Asato Maa Sad-Gamaya |
Tamaso Maa Jyotir-Gamaya |
Mrtyor-Maa Amrtam Gamaya |
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||

Meaning:

From ignorance, lead me to the truth.
From darkness, lead me to the light.
From death, lead me to immortality.
Om. Peace. Peace. Peace.

At the time I didn’t fully grasp the meaning but I think now I do.

Inhale … Right here.
Exhale… Right now.

Day 560

Posted by kidsaregifts20

One and a half hour of yoga at dawn and the same at dusk in a small group at an open circular studio with a thatched roof, looking on to the Beas river valley – this is luxury. We are led by one of the most proficient teachers I know. She helps us chant some ancient Sanskrit verses that are directly or indirectly dedicated to the peaceful and joyful co-existence of all beings. The practise also aims to enable us to become connected with our ‘higher selves’.

Over the last week, we have gradually come to feel at ease within ourselves and the world. Some interesting questions have come up from this creative space – How do we see our future? What is important? Which forces would we like to align ourselves with?

Some of the dust from the storm is visibly settling.

There is scientific evidence to prove that yoga reduces the brain’s stress response in many different ways, thereby helping with conditions that worsen with stress, for example, depression, PTSD and Chronic pain. These 2 articles by C. Streeter et al from Boston University provide good evidence for the same:

: Effects of yoga on the autonomic nervous system, gamma-aminobutyric-acid, and allostasis in epilepsy, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306987712000321)

: Effects of Yoga Versus Walking on Mood, Anxiety, and Brain GABA Levels: A Randomized Controlled MRS Study” (http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/acm.2010.0007)

Day 558

Posted by kidsaregifts20

For Si

You and I
It’s funny we’re together
Certainly not birds of a feather.

When I met you I knew
that my life would begin, anew.
Though there were tests – one or two
We did manage to come through.
Now I know this to be true
That I am here because of you.

There are no words I can say
To tell you how much it means to see you everyday.
To know that you are with me
Makes me as strong as I can be.
To know, you understand
when I loose it, rave and rant.

Your orangutan arms,
Your wit and charm,
Have me galavanting with you
From the temples of Angkor-wat to Timbaktoo.

Your enthusiasm in infectious.
Your food divine,
Your heart is warm and you are kind.

I am honoured that it’s with me you want to be
And would like to share
the sun, moon and stars,
Chocolates, quinoa and pears.

I am grateful to the Universe for having sent you my way.
And my darling, on this special day,
I wish you a super-fantabulous Birthday.

Day 554

Posted by kidsaregifts20

moon-daytime-Buddy_Puckhaper-Charleston-SC-9-21-2013-sq-e1461126035611

ॐ पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पुर्णमुदच्यते
पूर्णश्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते ॥
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥

This Peace Mantra in Sanskrit translates to:
Om, That (Outer World) is Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness); This (Inner World) is also Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness);From Purna comes Purna (From the Fullness of Divine Consciousness the World is manifested) ,
Taking Purna from Purna, Purna Indeed Remains (Because Divine Consciousness is Non-Dual and Infinite).
Om Peace, Peace, Peace.

Sitting up on a large flat roof, under a big expansive sky, breathing in clean green air, listening to soft phasic whistling of multiple forest creatures, looking at the perfect brimming circle of a moon, I felt nothing but gratitude. My heart felt like it was about to burst. Everything seemed to be just as it should be. Nothing was missing. All was harmonious, in tune with all else.
In this place of abundance, I am full. Much more than complete. Nothing is lacking.

Inhale .….”Let”
Exhale…..”Go.”

Inhale …..”Let”
Exhale ….”Go.”

Mmmmmm!!! Bliss!

Day 552

Posted by kidsaregifts20

His bench is ready but I haven’t seen it yet. I have seen the pictures that I am sharing with you.

A delightful young man at Saagar’s old school put it together as his final ‘Design and Technology’ project. He spent a lot of time on developing the idea. He went through many of Saagar’s pictures and stories with me. He read through his memory books. He very politely consulted with me at every stage. He even had me shedding tears on his school blazer at every meeting when I hugged him.

S Bench 2

S Bench 1

S Bench 3

I love the “S” shape. It is elegant and it stands for Saagar and sadly for Suicide too – a co-relation that is established through the bench. For me it is very meaningful. I think the story will be shared widely at installation and on-goingly thereafter so that it carries a message for many other young people. The inscriptions on the bench are well chosen and well done – they also tell part of the story. That he was 20, his hobbies, his humour and his abilities are all well captured. I hope that the school will be able to use this opportunity to educate the boys about the importance of mental well being and asking for help when in difficulty. ‘Never Alone’.

The lime-green legs represent his love for the same colour. It only mentions how old Saagar was, without dates making him ageless in a strange way. It clearly conveys the vulnerability of young men.

A text arrived last night from one of Saagar’s classmates from University, “I hope you’re well. Just wanted to let you know that I’m planning on dedicating my dissertation to Saagar :-> Lots of love to you. xxx”

Creativity, expansion and growth, dedicated to Saagar. How appropriate. He continues to live and his memory continues to inspire. My beautiful boy! Love you!